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19 signs you’re a hardcore Manchester United fan

The definitive characteristics of the average obsessive Red Devils supporter.

1. You own an ‘ironic’ Djemba Djemba or Kleberson jersey


Neal Simpson/EMPICS Sport

2. You hated all of August 2012 because of the constant use of the Martin Tyler ‘Aguerooooooooo!’ sound clip

YouTube credit: ManCityFlash

3. You still think Jordi Cruyff was better than his dad


Mike Poole/EMPICS Sport

4. You hated the manner of City’s victory in the Premier League because it was such a trademark United way of winning

YouTube credit: ZzZoundAsleep

5. You love Ryan Giggs for all the same reasons you hate Steven Gerrard

YouTube credit: Kyle Willmott

6. You were on Keane’s side in Saipan


INPHO/Lorraine O’Sullivan

7. You can’t stop telling your mates how good a pundit Gary Neville is

YouTube credit: Horatio Spear

8. You reckon Duncan Edwards is possibly the greatest footballer of all time, even though you never saw him play, you don’t know anyone else who saw him play, or anyone who has even seen him play on YouTube


PA Photos/PA Archive/Press Association Images

9. Sir Alex is a God in your eyes for what he achieved with the club


Martin Rickett/PA Wire/Press Association Images

10. You can recite the entire Clive Tyldesley commentary of the ’99 Champions League final from the words “Can Manchester United score? They always score.”

YouTube credit: GardenGoals

11. You hate Leeds because they’re self-aggrandising and tried to buy the Premier League (because nobody ever does that!) and because they had Eric Cantona first, meaning you treat them like a bad ex.


(Neal Simpson/EMPICS Sport)

12. It doesn’t matter how rarely Diego Forlan scored, because he put two past Jerzy Dudek

YouTube credit: Jovin Miranda

13. You eat prawn sandwiches


(Haydn West/PA Archive/Press Association Images)

14. You actually paid money for Andrew Cole’s debut single

YouTube credit: Adam Doherty

15. You get your post-match arguments verbatim from Fergie

YouTube credit: Beanyman62Sports

16. You think Les Sealey was one tough nugget


(Tony Harris/PA Archive/Press Association Images)

17. You watch ‘Looking for Eric’ on DVD constantly

YouTube credit: VISO Trailers

18. You tell anyone who’ll listen that Roy Keane’s performance against Juve was the greatest display by any footballer ever

YouTube credit: markg541

19. You’re convinced Cristiano Ronaldo will return at the end of the season

YouTube credit: Andrey Gusev

What have we forgotten? Let us know in the comments section below.

A version of this article appeared on 23 March, 2013

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