EARLIER THIS WEEK the applications closed to be an escort at this year’s Rose of Tralee.
Now you may be raging that you missed the deadline and who could blame you?
We’re willing to bet that being one of the lads who gets to hang out with the various Roses over the course of the festival is great craic.
In case you’ve applied and hoping to get there or just want to prepare yourself for next time we’ve come up with the key skills needed to be a Rose of Tralee escort.
1. Don’t be starstruck
Look lads, you’ll be in the presence of big names, Dáithí Ó Sé is this year’s host and everyone from Gay Byrne to Ray D’arcy have presented it.
You’ll have to act cool around Dáithí and any other celebs you might have to encounter, like the year the escorts had to pose with rugby hero Ronan O’Gara:
Mark Stedman / Photocall Ireland
2. You’ll have to go to Bootcamp
This is supposed to be a “humourous” segment from last year’s show where the lads train and bond and things, but we bet there’s plenty of cut footage where they were all tired, emotional and crying for their mammies (apparently the bootcamp is a regular bonding exercise for escorts the last few years)
Hard work being an escort, we’re telling you.
BC Limerick / YouTube
3. You’ll need to be “a man”
According to this ad for escorts at least.
That will involve taking your top off, running around in the water, dancing in the streets of Tralee and trying to not laugh at the hilarious music on this advert:
Rose of Tralee / YouTube
4. Hip-Hop Moves
We still haven’t recovered from the power of the the 2011 Dublin Rose knocking out some hip-hop moves.
Such grace, such energy:
RTE / YouTube
We think it’s about time one of the escorts broke out some hip-hop moves. If you’ve got serious dance chops then we say apply to be an escort and then blag your way onto the stage in the middle of the show.
The world is watching. Well, Ireland at least.
5. You’ll need to know all the words to this:
Marino Van Wakeren / YouTube
We have found a “dance remix” of it if you’re looking to blare this while you’re at the gym or something:
Rob Bais / YouTube
6. You’ll have to be open minded
And just go with it when a Rose decides to rope you into some questionable pictures:
Cathal McNaughton/PA Archive/Press Association Images
Or leaves you looking like this:
Cathal McNaughton/PA Archive/Press Association Images
7. Make sure you can pull off a tuxedo
You don’t want to end up looking like a dummy!!
Eamonn Farrell/Photocall Ireland
Geddit, a DUMMY?
Eamonn Farrell/Photocall Ireland
Oh you’re all just dummies, we give up
Eamonn Farrell/Photocall Ireland
