GOING TO THE airport is a lot like The Hunger Games. It’s every man for himself – the strongest survive, and those who show weakness are eliminated immediately.
Well, not really. But the airport (and flying, too) unearths a side of some people very seldom seen.
Happiness, patience and empathy desert every one of us the moment we step into the airport, and we turn into one or all of these things.
Baggage claim brawlers
Baggage claim has the power to replace every thought in a person’s head with a single goal: “Collect baggage. IMMEDIATELY.”
We bust our way up to the very edge of the carousel, not caring who we hurt. We’re getting that bag. Everyone else can SHOVE IT.
Overweight baggage ragers
There’s something about being told you’ll have to pay for extra baggage (even though a small part of you knew it was overweight already) that sends people flying into a rage.
I can’t BELIEVE this, the absolute CHEEK, you’re CONNING me. I’ll REPORT you.
Personal space invaders
Everyone at the airport is trying to get somewhere, fast. If you don’t move quickly enough you’ll have someone practically standing on top of you, breathing down your neck. It’s just the way it is.
Boarding gate rushers
Oh, we can board? Better CHARGE TOWARDS THE GATE.
Usually the staff announce certain rows for boarding but who pays attention to that? We all have to get on this plane, right now. For some reason.
Turbulence tantrum-throwers
Turbulence can make the most reasonable of people do a complete 180.
This plane is gonna go down, we’re sure of it, and we won’t rest until everyone knows our deepest fears.
Restless de-boarders
Just as we couldn’t wait to board the plane, we can’t wait to get off. As the engines are cooling, we will stand and wait until we’re allowed out.
This could be 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes – but on no account will we sit down. We must be ready.
And monsters that clap when the plane lands
OK. This is not monstrous, per se.
But you can’t deny it takes a certain kind of sick mind to start a round of applause as the plane touches the tarmac. Sick and disturbed.
