YEP, IT’S THE night before the night before Christmas and you’ve just remembered you still have to buy most of your presents.
Lucky for you everybody in the world likes sports. And even luckier for you they make an awful lot of tat for the less-discerning sports fans out there.
Here’s some so-bad-they’re-actually-pretty-cool things you’re either going to find or be stuffing into a Christmas stocking over the next 36 hours.
Death Star football
Presumably for kicking against the wall, alone. Or maybe for practicing your keep-uppies, alone. Oh, the sadness of it.
A Spurs T-shirt
You know they’re always matching some match or other on the television, so grab some Premier League merchandise. No, not a jersey, they’re WAY too expensive. How about that fetching Steffen Freund tribute garment? Perfect.
Who do they support again?
Tebow cuff-links
Yes, cuff-links, because none of us can afford buttons on our shirts these days anyway. And who better to adorn those symbols of unnecessary excess than the one-time hottest property in the NFL (now, sadly, unemployed) Tim Tebow.
Salt and pepper grinders
Of course these are awesome and not crap at all, but you try telling your girlfriend that.
Oh, you don’t have a girlfriend? Well then what the hell are you doing with salt and pepper grinders?
Chef attire
Great, I lost my old apron.
The Manchester United onesie
Because nothing says ‘I’ve given up on the title’ quite like an adult size babygrow.
Anfield jacket
Good. God. No.
Sporty mousemats
Firstly, we’ve never encountered a novelty mousemat yet that actually works properly.
Secondly, who uses a mouse these days in real life? Like, don’t you have a laptop?
Team themed board games
Who stole the silverware? I’m guessing it was Big Sam in the turnstile with Arsene Wenger’s lagging jacket.
