Diary of a Fantasy Gaffer: Double your Liverpool and Man City pleasure

If you are not hitting triple figures this game-week, you should take a long, hard look at yizzerselves.

MY OLD RELIABLES came through again last week and the wild, zany gamble of placing two Gunners in my back three had The Score Machine flying.

Luis Suarez, as captain, bagged this old hound 22 points while Laurent Koscielny and Bacary Sagna chipped in with 13. That Donegal lad, with Sligo connections, Seamus Coleman may gift a goal or two while in the green jersey but he is tearing it up in the Premier League. Add to that a Jay Rodiguez goal and Yaya Touré’s dependable six points and I was set to breach the 70-point mark. Shame, then, that Ramires went grape crushing on Karim El Ahmadi. -3 points and he is suspended for this weekend’s game with Arsenal.

The Capital One and FA Cup fixtures have caused havoc with [fantasy] teams in recent weeks — shall we ever forget the borefest of Gameweek 28? — but there are 15 matches up for decision over the next five days. Title challengers Liverpool, Arsenal and Manchester City are all in action twice.

It makes my first decision easy — Luis Suarez old son, you can keep the armband on. Simon Mignolet is keeping clean sheets again so he is safe as houses, as is my back three. Coleman has Swansea at home [goal or assist for wee Seamy] and although Arsenal may need miracles to keep Chelsea scoreless, they have the Swans at home on Tuesday.

In midfield, City’s Jesus Navas is not starting so may get the hook. Jordan Henderson and Yaya [my vice captain] are dead certs while Adam Lallana needs to buck up his act. He has gone up £0.3m in the last four weeks for the grand return of seven points. Does this scruffy-faced attack nymph not realise there are World Cup 2014 spots up for grabs?

Rodriguez is another Saint who’s place is under threat, by me. Emanuel Adebayor may yet survive as he is at White Hart Lane against Southampton. Saying that, I’ve just checked his stats and ‘Ade’ has scored just one league goal at home all season. His other seven have come away from ‘Hot White Lane’. I shan’t mention my bench as it is plain depressing.

Here is what I wanted to do — either get in Alex Oxlade Chamberlain for Ramires [I was .1m shy] or Edin Dzeko for Rodriguez [ditto]. Raheem Sterling is a no-go as I already have three Liverpool players. So this, miserable as it is, is my punt: Sunderland’s Adam Johnson is in for Ramires and his suspended until 13 April keister.

Handy tip or two: If anyone has spare RVP or Aguero cash floating about, get in Daniel Sturridge. Oxlade Chamberlain is a good, cheap buy at £6.6m. West Ham are in good form and playing twice so have a look at Kevin Nolan or dependably cheap Guy Demel. Hull are in decent-ish nick so no harm getting in a Curtis Davies or Jake Livemore to get you 6/7 points over two games.