WHEN WE WERE kids, we wanted nothing more than to be a grown-up.
(But of course now that we’re adults, we want nothing more than to recapture our childhoods.)
Remember how great being an adult seemed when you were a chizzler? Kids really do have an idealised view of the importance and freedom of being a big old grown-up.
EXPECTATION: “When I grow up I’ll stay up all night!”
REALITY: Once you get in from work, you’re gagging for your bed. In fact, your bed is your best friend. You’re lucky if you make it past 10pm some nights.
EXPECTATION: “When I have kids I’ll let them have whatever they want!”
REALITY: Oh, as IF.
EXPECTATION: ”I’m going to have ice cream for dinner when I’m an adult!”
REALITY: Ice cream for dinner? Are you mad? You’re already packing on the pounds. And think of the expense of it. Dear me, no.
EXPECTATION: ”No one will be able to tell me what to do!”
REALITY: In fact, rather a lot of people tell you what to do these days. Bosses, society, spouses… The list goes on.
EXPECTATION: ”I’m gonna eat sweets all day long!”
REALITY: Think of the dentist bills. And anyway, we quite like finishing our hearty sensible meat and two veg dinners now.
EXPECTATION: ”When I’m an adult, I’ll see my friends EVERY day!”
REALITY: Trying to see friends these days requires military precision planning and schedule hustling. We long for the days of knocking down for a friend.
Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.