TONIGHT’S EUROVISION SEMI-FINAL is underway and no doubt we will have seen some extremely interesting things before it wraps up in around half an hour.
Over the years, the Eurovision has seen some strange stuff, but some acts tipped the scales right into Crazytown.
The Eurovision doesn’t get any more Eurovision than these eight entries.
Telex – Euro-Vision (Belgium, 1980)
In contrast to the OTT performances of today, this one doesn’t seem so weird.
But you can’t deny there’s something odd about the way the lead singer dances with his scarf , stands with his hands in his pockets and half-heartedly throws glitter in the air.
The band themselves hoped to finish last (which may explain things) but ten points from Portugal put them second-last. Shame.
Verka Serduchka – Dancing Lasha Tumbai (Ukraine, 2007)
This entry was performed by Ukrainian drag character Verka Serduchka, clad in tinfoil, singing nonsensical lyrics like “Seven seven bye bye”.
How did this only come second? It’s insane. But amazing.
We Are The Winners – LT United (Lithuania, 2006)
LT United were pretty confident about their abilities, despite looking like a bunch of dads at a wedding – the lyrics of their entry went like this:
We are the winners of Eurovision,
We are, we are, we are, we are
Sadly, though the song came a respectable 6th, LT United did not in fact win the Eurovision. Making the whole thing a little embarrassing.
Guildo Horn – Guildo hat euch lieb (Germany, 1998)
Guildo appeared to be the German version of Meatloaf, and spent most of the performance interacting with mortified audience members while wearing a velvet suit.
But the most important thing? COWBELL INTERLUDE.
The cheese was strong with this one. But it worked, because he came 7th.
Lordi – Hard Rock Hallelujah (Finland, 2006)
Lordi had people all over Europe shouting “WHAT THE…” at their TV screens. It just didn’t make sense.
Terrifying, totally not Eurovision – but extremely Eurovision at the same time – Lordi’s win is probably responsible for most of the spectacle we’ve seen over the past few years.
Valentina Monetta – The Social Network Song (San Marino, 2012)
This was San Marino’s third failed attempt at qualifying for the Eurovision – probably because most of the choreography featured the singer gurning beside a laptop.
Why is the doctor there? Is that woman really playing that guitar? EUROVISION.
Buranovskiye Babushki – Party for Everybody (Russia, 2012)
A group of Russian grannies, dressed in traditional garb, singing a tuneless little ditty that told people to “Come on and boom boom”. They came second. Second!
Did we mention that they baked a cake in an on-stage oven? Oh yeah. That too.
Dustin the Turkey – Irelande Douze Pointe (Ireland, 2008)
We had to put this in. It sort of made sense to us – Dustin’s a national treasure, and we might as well make fun of the Eurovision because we can’t seem to win it.
But to everyone else, it appeared we’d gone mad.
And perhaps we had. Perhaps we had.
