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Dear God NO

13 reasons why we dread pre-season training

After a month of sitting on your arse, it’s time to get back into the swing of things.

JUNIOR SOCCER TEAMS the length and breadth of the country have been kicking off their pre-season programmes over the past week or two.

While it’s an annual struggle for managers to freshen up their squads with a fresh batch of players, the hard graft is done on the training pitch – where the vast majority will have to dust off the cobwebs in time for the start of the new season.

Here’s why it’s one of our least favourite time of the year:

1. You’re bound to be a little out of shape on the first day back

A strict diet of burgers and beer on your few weeks off probably wasn’t the best idea, in hindsight.

Credit: All Action/EMPICS Entertainment

2. When you notice there isn’t a football in sight

Don’t worry, you won’t be kicking one of them for awhile.

Credit: INPHO/Andrew Paton

3. The running

There’s generally sprinting.

Credit: INPHO/Tom Honan

4. More running…

Some long distance stuff.

Credit: INPHO/Donall Farmer

5. Did we mention the running?

And quick feet drills.

Credit: INPHO/Andrew Paton

6. Picking up niggly injuries

You're still a little rusty and knocks and strains are probable.

Credit: NPHO/Keith Heneghan

7. The fine weather

When you should be doing this...

Credit: INPHO/Billy Stickland

You're feeling like this...

Credit: Kirsty Wigglesworth/PA Archive/Press Association Images

8. Having to impress the new manager

But generally failing spectacularly.

YouTube credit: dansnipper

9. Being on the receiving end when an over-committed team-mate tries to catch the gaffer's eye

They'll do just about anything to get into the team.

Credit: gifeye

10. Planking

Painful. See also: Press-up, sit-ups, squats and burpees.

Credit: INPHO/Andrew Paton

11. Suicides

Possibly the cruelest running drill known to man.

Credit: Sportsplan

12. Getting new boots

It's going to take a few weeks of having the ankles cut off you before they're worn in.

Credit: Stephen Pond/EMPICS Sport

13. Friendlies

"WE TOLD YOU we weren't match-ready yet!"

YouTube credit: NewAgeFails

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