Advertisement
awol for futbol

TheScore.ie's foolproof guide to skiving off work to watch the World Cup

It’s the World Cup, the last thing you need are the silly distractions of the workplace.

IT’S NOT THE most inconvenient World Cup ever. But unless you have the kind of fictional job that allows you stroll home in the sunshine, stop for snacks and supplies and still land in the door in time for a five o’clock kick-off, then you’re going to need to do some form of wriggling to do to rid yourself of the shackles of that place that gives you money every month.

So, whether you’ve got a particular fixture in mind or just want to watch some football without taxing your brain cells to figure out how much sleep it will allow you before trudging back to work, here are nine top tips to making yourself scarce at the office, site, warehouse or assembly line over the next four and a half weeks.

Wise up, stock up

You don’t want to be caught strolling down to the shop for bag of nachos or a litre of milk when you’re supposed to be at the grindstone.

If you’re in for the long haul, stock up on non-perishable foodstuffs and beer and batten down the hatches until July 13.

Coleen Rooney sighting - Alderley Edge Colleen, I assume you've got four more trolleys still to come? PIC BY EAMONN & JAMES CLARKE PIC BY EAMONN & JAMES CLARKE

You could feign injury

Take a leaf out of your old pal Rivaldo’s book. Make it dramatic, scream and cry and collapse when you ‘accidentally’ trip over that ream of A4 paper ‘somebody carelessly left lying around’.

Soccer - FIFA World Cup 2002 - Group C - Brazil v Turkey EMPICS Sport EMPICS Sport

Framing your boss for assault seems to work pretty well in the movies

norton punch

Calling in sick could do the job too

Tell everyone you’ve got some nasty gastroenteritis. End of questions.

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Manchester City v Tottenham Hotspur - Etihad Stadium 'Yeah, there's a bad bug going around alright.' EMPICS Sport EMPICS Sport

Surely you could find somebody to cover for you?

Once Stevie teaches this dude how to under-hit a backpass he’ll have the summer all to himself.

Steven Gerrard waxwork PA Archive / Press Association Images PA Archive / Press Association Images / Press Association Images

A simple system of pulleys might even IMPROVE productivity in your absence

bird y Have Many Monkeys Have Many Monkeys

Be ruthless, how many fictional deaths have you inflicted on your beloved relatives? 

Stephen Ireland Sighting - Cheshire PIC BY EAMONN & JAMES CLARKE PIC BY EAMONN & JAMES CLARKE

If you’re caught sneaking out just act like you’re on official company business and don’t have time for any accusing glances

https://vine.co/v/Mpj1DIjthAB

Keep the head down when you get back to your desk and nobody will suspect a thing

And then you can vanish off on that fortnight-long holiday you booked ages ago.

HOMER FINGERS E OF E OF

Here’s your essential World Cup glossary of things players do with a football

Your Voice
Readers Comments
3
    Submit a report
    Please help us understand how this comment violates our community guidelines.
    Thank you for the feedback
    Your feedback has been sent to our team for review.