“The first year (at Bohs) was difficult – I got rid of all the deadwood, all the Happy Harrys on a jolly-up. We brought in young players and the club has never looked back. The Celtic Tiger is gone, the gravy train is over. You can run me out if you want. But as long as I’m here, everyone will get honesty because I’ll give it and I’ll expect it back.” - Roddy Collins tells The Irish Examiner’s John Riordan what he’s about. Before he Cork City FC implode and he heads off.

“The referee gave only five minutes of injury time and that’s an insult to the game.” - Alex Ferguson started the year as he meant to go on after the defeat to Leeds in the  FA Cup.

“Many national teams are interested. They asked us ‘what are you doing, what aren’t you doing?’ But for now we’re remaining loyal to what we signed. But in life I always say never say never.” - What’s the Italian for mixed signals, Trap?

“Please God, he’ll still be here in February. I don’t see any way Robbie won’t be here unless someone comes up with 50 million or something for him!” - Harry Redknapp, right before Keane was turfed off to Celtic on transfer deadline day.

“The club is massive. I am a Celtic fan and did not have to ask much about it. I always wanted to play for Celtic and it works for all parties.” - Robbie recycles the speech he made at Anfield.

“Listen. This is a special approach in the Anglo-Saxon countries. If this had happened in, let’s say, Latin countries then I think he would have been applauded.” - Fifa president Sepp Blatter never met a situation he didn’t want to offer an opinion on. You’ll remember the Terry-Bridge furore.

“In my opinion, Terry has no moral code for what he did to Bridge. In my neighbourhood if you do that, you lose your legs, or more — you don’t survive.” - Carlos Tevez, man of action.

“It’s good to go a bit mad but I don’t throw teacups around. That’s not my style – I’d rather throw punches” - It’s true. Roy Keane never lobbed any china at Alan Shearer’s head.

Ireland’s Shane Duffy was lucky to survive a collision during a training match in Dublin that caused a laceration to his liver:

It was a blur. I woke up on Friday night with the operation done, but my mum and dad were telling me that I had nearly died. I am so happy to be alive now.

“We want to beat Argentina now so we can finally say we’ve beaten a big team.” - German captain Philipp Lahm after the World cup defeat of England.

“Luis Suarez’s hand was the Hand of God… and the Virgin Mary.” - Uruguay coach Oscar Tabarez praises his striker for the moment that broke Ghana’s hearts in the quarter-final

You know when you’ve got a noisy neighbour and they keep the radio on all the time? You can complain to the council, you can bang on their wall, you can go to their door, but they still keep their music on. So what do you do? You get used to it.” - Another one for the Alex Ferguson annals but Man City still have the volume up

“Yes, it is difficult to break them up because they were a beautiful couple.” - Trapattoni shedding crocodile tears for the midfield pairing of Glenn Whelan and Keith Andrews

“If I was in Alex Ferguson’s company I would tell him first off that Manchester United never knocked Liverpool off their ****ing perch, as he put it. That’s nonsense. Graeme Souness did that.” - Jamie Carragher sets the record straight

Rob Palmer (Sky Sports): “You’ve made your name as a wheeler and dealer …”.

Harry Redknapp: “ I’m not a wheeler and dealer. F**k off! I didn’t make my name as a wheeler and f***ing dealer. Don’t say that – I’m a f***ing football manager.”

“If he’s trying to say I should move somewhere like Stoke City and change my game to winning tackles and not winning games, then he’s having a laugh.” - Darron Gibson Trapattoni’s belief that he should leave Manchester United for regular first team football.

“Everyone needs to talk. Everyone has a Twitter.” - Rafa Benitez is aghast after Ryan Babel tweeted that he’d been dropped for a game at Stoke City. He’s still at it.

“He says he’s really in to it and asks us if we watch it. Because he’s such a legend you think he’s beyond that kind of thing, but really he’s just a normal guy.” - Liam Rosenior reveals that Roy Keane sets the Sky box for Celebrity Big Brother.

“He has an opinion on everything. There is not a subject in this world at this minute, political, religious, anything, that he does not have an opinion on. I really don’t mind, I just don’t want it shoved down my throat.” - Martin O’Neill on Arsene Wenger. No love lost.

“You can get carried away with your own importance, you really can. Sometimes he does.” - Martin O’Neill on Arsene Wenger.

“I got a text from him last week saying: ‘I miss you so much’.” -  Alex Ferguson on Cristiano Ronaldo’s reply after he wished him a happy birthday. Vom.

The pinnacle now is getting the contract, the bentley and the blonde

“Maybe if I was a bit bigger then it would have hurt more.” - Glenn Whelan’s gets a kick in the crotch from Patrick Vieira. Form a line, ladies.

“The pinnacle now is getting the contract, the bentley and the blonde” - But what does Roy Keane really think of modern players’ priorities.

“Nah, he was just telling me about his good mate, Jesus.” - Paul McShane denying he and Kaka exchanged harsh words. People do say ‘Oh god’ every time the Ireland defender gets the ball, I suppose.

“I spent everything I earned on satellite dishes, but mine got stolen every week. It wasn’t until the fourth time it happened that the police discovered the dishes were being stolen by the same people fitting them in the first place.” - Barcelona’s Gerard Pique reminiscing fondly on his time in Manchester.

“Attempts on goals are like going to a nightclub, you could speak to 50 girls but if you’re going home on your own it’s no good, is it? You could only speak to one and go home with her.” - Keane again. I don’t know what he’s about about this time though.

“Football is concrete. We are not a theatre, La Scala or Madison Square Garden – it’s football. Football is ball, pitch, opponent and mentality, that’s football. Results are results, a show is a show and results are different to the show. That is our belief.” - Giovanni Trapattoni, more ’Arry Stotle than ’Arry Redknapp, as Mary Hanigan in the Irish times put it memorably.

“What’s the matter Schweinsteiger? Are you nervous?” - El Diego tries to wind up Germany’s playmaker. Bad move, hombre.

“I am 50 in October and this is the toughest day of my life. This is like a kick in the face. This was a punch from Muhammad Ali. I have no more energy for anything.” - Maradona approximately 95 minutes later.

“My name’s Pavlos and I’m looking for a toilet.”

“My name’s Pavlos and I’m looking for a toilet.” - Pavlos Joseph introducing himself to the England squad after he ended up in their dressingroom following the draw with Algeria.

“It was a tough decision because I’ve had some terrific times with Ireland.” - Steven Reid is out the gap.

“Look, Darth Vader could come to Spurs. I don’t care. If he does his job well I am happy for Spurs.” - Benoit Assou Ekotto.

“These people are clowns. I am dying with laughter.” - A distraught Nicolas Anelka after the French Football Federation gave him that 18-match ban.

“The wife had me watching Come Dine With Me on the other side. That’s married life for you.” - David James explaining why he missed England’s friendly against Hungary.

“On Tuesday nights you don’t want to be at home watching EastEnders, you want to be at the Lane and playing against the great players of the world.” - Spurs’ Jermain Defoe must not be married.

Get over it, nobody died

“If I was in Alex Ferguson’s company I would tell him first off that Manchester United never knocked Liverpool off their ****ing perch, as he put it. Thats nonsense. Graeme Souness did that.” - Jamie Carragher, comedy genius.

“The grass on our training pitch is so high that all the sheep in the Faroes would take a month to eat it.” - Brian Kerr after the Italians tried to pull the wool over his eyes last week by giving his team a pitch only fit for grazing.

“I am happy you’re gone, psychic octopus, it’s your fault we lost the World Cup.” - Diego Maradona dances on the grave of Paul the Octopus.

“Anyone who doesn’t like me can either shut their eyes, shut their mouths or sit at home and turn off the TV because we are coming to Barcelona to win.” - Cristiano Ronaldo talks to talk ahead of Barca’s 5-0 drubbing of los Madridistas.

“Apparently England had a good bid but they didn’t do it. Get over it, nobody died.” - Do I really need to tell you who this was?