1. Goalposts
Consist of anything from a well-placed tree to a traffic cone or a wall. If you’ve got nothing else, just use jumpers.
2. Goalkeeping
Stick (can’t come out), fly (free to roam) or last man back (the player nearest the goal line is in).
3. Picking teams
Two pickers, who take turns in choosing, from the best players down, until there’s just that lad who nobody wants on their team.
Alternatively, it’s our road against yours.
4. Ball choice:
This…
Credit: Maudesport
This…
5. Jerseys
In the summer it was shirts v skins. If half the players happened to be wearing the one colour, they would automatically make up one team.
6. Any games?
“Dunno, it’s not my ball.”
7. Kick the ball into someone’s back garden?
You go get it.
8. Who are you gonna be?
Only one person can be Fowler, Cantona, Ronaldo, Zidane etc so you’d better baggsy it fast!
9. Reasons the game would end:
- The lad who owns the ball goes home for his dinner
- The ball bursts, gets stuck up a tree/under a car
- A fight breaks out due to the lack of a referee.
- The school bell rings.
10. Next goal the winner
Someone gives this shout when the game has run on for several hours and it’s time to call it a day.
11. For World Cup singles/doubles
One goal, everyone’s paired off, scoring sees you progress to the next round. One team eliminated along the way.
12. Warning
If you’re the best player, be prepared to be partnered with the fella with two left feet.
13. For Heads & Volleys/Lives
Wide and you’re in. Clean catch and you’re in. Two points for a header, one for a volley. First player knocked out gets a ‘dog’s life’.
14. For Three & In
Shoot wide three times and you become the goalkeeper. Simple.
15. For Squares
A game like football tennis wherein the markings on the road make up four squares. Each player has their own square to protect.
16. Penalties
Taker must inform the goalie which side they are shooting. If you were particularly good at spot-kicks, you had to take it with your bad foot.
17. Red Ass
The specifics of this rule varied but often if you conceded three goals as the goalkeeper, you were forced to turn around and let the other players aim a shot towards your rear end.
YouTube credit: MrToxic212
18. No lashies or toebogging!
There’s a good chance of smashing a window if you kick the ball too hard. Also, toebogging is frowned upon as Ronaldinho hadn’t made it cool yet.
19. Hatching (or goal-hanging) is strictly prohibited
Loitering around the goalmouth in an attempt to get a lucky bounce or a flick while everyone else wore themselves out chasing the ball. There was always one lad at it.
(h/t: Mariobaloltelli)
Were your rules different? Let us know…
