YESTERDAY, TV LOVERS rejoiced at the happy, happy news that cult drama Twin Peaks is to return to our screens in 2016.
The show was a massive hit in the 90s, following eccentric FBI Agent Dale Cooper as he attempts to solve the murder of a young woman – inadvertently uncovering the dark secrets of the small town of Twin Peaks along the way.
A lot of people were somewhat underwhelmed by the news, to say the least.
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We’re not saying you need to ‘pretend’ to like anything (in fact, we’d advise you to do the opposite) but in case you do find yourself conversing with some Twin Peaks fanatics, here’s some help.
We’ll try to do this with as little spoilers as possible. You can thank us later.
1. “That gum you like is going to come back in style!!!”
This is a well-loved quote from the series, and the phrase Twin Peaks co-creator and director David Lynch used to hint to fans that the show might be returning.
The line was originally spoken in one of the most bizarre scenes ever to hit TV. Just watch.
You can yell this one out whenever. Twin Peaks fans will LOVE it.
2. “Laura did say ‘I’ll see you again in 25 years.’”
Use this one to stir the pot a little.
In the final episode, the ghost/spirit/doppelgänger of Laura Palmer told Agent Cooper that they would cross paths again in 25 years. Many fans are speculating that this was the impetus for the revival, and that it was planned all along.
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3. “HOW are they going to update that soundtrack though?”
The show’s soundtrack was like a character all of its own – a marvellous combination of washed-out synths, jazzy riffs and finger-clicks that just screams 90s.
Will it work in a modern-day version? We’ll have to wait and see.
4. “Wonder what Audrey Horne has been getting up to?”
Audrey Horne was one of the breakout characters from the original series, with no small thanks to a sultry performance from actress Sherilyn Fenn.
Basically, all the boys fancied Audrey, all the girls wanted to be her, and the show just wouldn’t be the same without her.
5. “I hope Kyle MacLachlan comes back.”
Kyle MacLachlan (who you may recognise from his later roles in Sex and the City and Desperate Housewives) played the lovable Agent Cooper, and is one of the actors rumoured to be reprising their roles on the show.
It is as of yet unconfirmed, but this tweet speaks volumes:
6. “My log will have something to say about this.”
A reference to one of the show’s great and extremely weird characters, the Log Lady.
Oh, Twin Peaks spoofer, you crack us up. That’s what they’ll be saying to you.
7. “Because of course, without Twin Peaks, very few of the great modern TV shows would exist.”
This is professional-level sh*te talking but if you think you can pull it off, by all means go for it.
Many TV critics credit Twin Peaks’ unique style and plot as the forbear of the current ‘golden age’ of television – so in some small way, it has given us shows like True Detective, Breaking Bad and The Killing.
8. “*mumble mumble mumble* …it’s quite, y’know, Lynchian… *mumble*”
If all else fails, chuck the word “Lynchian” (meaning ‘inspired by the work of Twin Peaks director/co-creator David Lynch’) into any sentence. It’ll (probably) work.
