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Prawn cocktail crisp brigade

The 10 types of fans you'll meet in the pub this season

As the Premier League kicks off, we look at who you’ll meet down the local.

1. The overly emotional one

You’ll hear him a mile away. Every decision, from throw-in to controversial goal, is greeted with the same, wildly over-the-top response. It’s probably best not to leave your drink within reach as over-exaggerated gesticulation is also common.

2. The fan who insists things were better in my day

PA Archive / Press Association Images PA Archive / Press Association Images / Press Association Images

She’ll tell you everyone on the screen is an overpaid cheat who wouldn’t have lasted a minute on the field with Johnny Giles. She might be right but why would anyone want to be kicked by Gilesy?

3. The lone wolf

Jonathan Pow Jonathan Pow

Everyone, EVERYONE, in the bar is there in various shades of Manchester United red. But this guy is different, he’s happy in his Leicester City jersey or Crystal Palace scarf. And far from being put off by the deafening silence when his team scores, his roar will ring all the louder.

4. The one who is perpetually unimpressed with his team

ArsenalFanTV / YouTube

When his side is scoring lots of goals, he’ll complain about the defence being too leaky. When they have a good mid-season run, you’ll hear him moaning about why they couldn’t start the year this way. He’ll drag you down this guy.

5. The no BS straight talker one

FullTimeDEVILS / YouTube

When we say straight talker, we mean she’ll tell you exactly what she thinks without you asking for that opinion. It’s not that she’s wrong, more often than not she won’t be, it’s just that you don’t need to hear every single thought on the game.

6. The guy who’ll rob your crisps

The pub equivalent to the prawn sandwich brigade, he’s only there for corporate hospitality, not to actually watch the football with you. The secret to stopping this guy is to have rubbish taste in crisps.

7. The conspiracy theorist

Sky Sports Screengrab Sky Sports Screengrab

She’s always looking for an ulterior motive and ‘knew’ that Manuel Pellegrini had made his way into Anfield last season and secretly watered that exact part of the pitch to cost Liverpool the title.

8. The no-cash bookie

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When he’s not telling you the odds, he’s retrospectively asking “I wonder what odds you’d have gotten for Palace drawing with Arsenal.” He’ll never, ever, show you a betting slip though.

9. The second-screener

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She might look up from their phone every now and again but it’ll only be to record a Vine of a goal or read some ‘hilarious’ joke someone on Twitter is after recycling. Sitting beside her will almost certainly mean you’ll miss a goal.

10.  The eternal optimist

Ben Steptoe / YouTube

He’ll support Spurs or Liverpool and this will be their year.

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