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No-one likes me, I don't care Mike Egerton/EMPICS Sport
Crumpled Dossiers

Bored UK hacks start sharpening their knives for Andre Villas Boas

Andre Villas Boas may have some trouble gaining the respect of the Chelsea squad, according to some of those nice English newspaper writers.

IT MAY NOT be all plain sailing for Chelsea’s new manager Andre Villas Boas, according to some of the UK’s football writers, with Martin Samuel revealing he didn’t enjoy the best of reputations at Stamford Bridge in the past.

Villas Boas, yet to be dubbed ‘The Pre-Pubescent One’ but not far off it, worked under J**é Mou***ho at the London club bef0re his compatriot fell foul of the club’s ruler supreme.

Samuel says the Blues’ squad paid little or no heed to the tactician’s homework.

“It won’t be easy because a lot of those players know him and saw him as an occasional training-ground interloper on a Thursday/Friday, giving them their DVDs and dossiers,” revealed the Daily Mail scribe. “And one or two of them just threw them in the bin; they didn’t read them.”

Sunday Mirror reporter David Walker believes that Villas Boas has a far bigger, more oligarchal problem to deal with. So overwhelming is this problem, in fact, that he mentions the word problem twice in the same quote.

“I do think it’s a huge problem: how you stop Abramovich interfering, letting it be known which players he wants, who he’s prepared to sign. It’s a massive problem.”

The Daily Express’ Ian Ridley said something too, but it all smacked of too much nay-saying and trouble mongering for us to keep reading.

Read the prophecies of doom here >