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Departures Lounge: Dr Evil scoffs at a couple of today's transfer rumours

Arsenal have bid how much for Suarez?

Wilfried Bony playing for Ivory Coast. Credit: Rebecca Blackwell/AP/Press Association Images

Will this happen?

Credit: ReactionGifs.com

Monaco snap up Abidal: French defender Eric Abidal has joined big-spenders Monaco after leaving Barcelona earlier this summer.

Swansea close in on Bony: Michael Laudrup is expected to pull off a major coup by bringing Ivory Coast striker Wilfried Bony to the Welsh club from Vitess Arnhem. The 24-year-old scored 31 goals in 30 appearances in the Dutch Eredivisie last season and could cost up to £13m.

Kone is a Toffee: Arouna Kone has followed Roberto Martinez in joining Everton from Wigan Athletic, the club has confirmed.

Will this happen?

Credit: ReactionGifs.com

PSG to bag Cavani: He may be wanted by Chelsea and Manchester City but Napoli’s prized asset looks to be on his way to the French capital.

Rooney for Thiago and Villa: According to reports, Barcelona are offering Thiago Alcantara and David Villa plus cash in an effort to bring Wayne Rooney to La Liga.

Will this happen?

Credit: ReactionGifs.com

Black Cats want Giaccherini: Sunderland are rumoured to have made a move for Juventus midfielder and Italian international Emanuele Giaccherini.

Liverpool reject Suarez bid: Arsenal have reportedly lodged an offer of £30m for the Uruguayan striker.

One of the weirdest first pitches you’re ever likely to see

Storm brewing: Pardew calls for respect from Kinnear after mispronounced player names

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Ben Blake

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