Five steps to heaven: how to make a mint this weekend

Don’t email me when this doesn’t come in. But here’s how you could turn a fiver into €42879.38.

WE’RE BACK, BACK, back as they used to write in Smash Hits magazine. Five Steps tok a break last Friday because we were a) broke and b) exhausted after Cheltenham.

We’d apologise for never having hit the big time with these ambitious five-timers. But as Geroge Costanza said: you can stick you’re sorries in a sack. Onwards and upwards.

1. Let’s start with the Euro 2012 showdown with Macedonia at Lansdowne Rd tomorrow. (Have I mentioned we’ll be in situ at the Aviva running a minute-by-minute. I’ve mentioned it haven’t I?).

So let’s talk first goalscorer – Gordon Pandev is the best value at 9-1 but we’re not going to bet against out lads so the in-form Duffer at 8-1 will more than suffice.

2. It’s a funny week for golf with the Masters around the corner (‘citing!). Who the hell knows what’ll happen at Bay Hill but Lefty isn’t a bad shout to make a charge is he? Take Phil Mickelson at 10-1.

3. Waterford travel to Noreside for their first game in a post-Ken McGrath reality. They lie one point behind the Cats and Galway and just two points off pacesetters Dublin – so they’re still very much in the fight. Why not the Deise at 11-4.

4. Those who frequented this corner of the internet during Cheltenham last week may still be thanking our racing guru Mark Hobbs, such was his knack for picking an unlikely winner. We’ll post his weekly column in the morning – but a little birdie told me his nap will be Gio Ponti in the Dubai World Cup at 10-1.

5. Munster take on Cardiff in the Magners League. The usually get back to business pretty efficiently. 11/10

Stake: 5

Potential winnings: €42879.38. Simples.