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Dublin: 4°C Thursday 4 March 2021

'Top class' striker wants to play for your team, puts up hilarious flyers

Meet Gary Goals, who claims he can ‘do all types of the goals’. He won’t play between the sticks though.

IS YOUR TEAM in need of a born goalscorer with a proven track record?

Well we’ve got just the thing. Going by the name of ‘Gary Goals’, he claims to have had trials with Doncaster United and has made himself available to play for teams in need — whether it’s 5, 7 or 11-a-side.

Below is one of the striker’s flyers, which includes an English number. When we gave it a call, we were sent straight to the voicemail of a man with a Dublin accent. It went like this:

“Greetings, you’ve reached Gary Goals. I’m not able to take your call right now as I’m either playing a match, out with a lady or in the gym.”

He goes on to reveal that he is in fact living in Hackney, London but is willing to travel up two miles for matches. Playing at the back or in goal is out of the question, however.

It has all the makings of a wind-up but we enjoyed the effort GG has put in.

imageCredit: Twitter/Mark Segal via Back Page Football

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About the author:

Ben Blake

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