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Yes, that's really a picture of the scoreboard. Martin Rickett/PA Wire/Press Association Images
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Premier League round-up: United score 8, embarrass Arsenal

If you missed the football this afternoon, you missed some truly remarkable games. Here’s what went down.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO a quiet Sunday?

By six o’clock this evening, it became clear that today would be remembered as one of the great days for Manchester football; but it was a nightmare for two of North London’s most famous clubs.

Here’s what happened.

Manchester United 8-2 Arsenal

An imperious Manchester United ran riot against Arsenal at Old Trafford this afternoon, becoming the first team to put eight past the Gunners since Loughborough Athletic back in 1896.

The demolition of Arsene Wenger’s inexperienced side began on 22 minutes when one of United’s own youngsters, Danny Welbeck, capitalised on some lax defending by Djourou to head past Szczesny.

Arsenal captain Robin van Persie squandered a chance to level matters from the spot just five minutes later when Jonny Evans brought down Theo Walcott. David de Gea, the target of some harsh criticism in recent weeks, was more than equal to the Dutchman’s tame effort.

That was the signal for United to press on and they took advantage almost immediately, Ashley Young scoring with a beautiful curling effort before Wayne Rooney made it 3-0 with his 150th goal for the club.

A stoppage-time strike from Theo Walcott gave Arsenal a glimmer of hope, but it proved to be fleeting as United continued their dominance after the break; Rooney, Nani and Park the scorers in a six-minute blitz which put the hosts 6-1 up.

Van Persie tried to add some semblance of respectability to the scoreline when he struck in the 74th minute, but the sending-off of teenage defender Carl Jenkinson played straight into United’s hands, allowing Rooney to complete his hat-trick from the spot six minutes later before Young produced another world-class curler in the final seconds.

Tottenham Hotspur 1-5 Manchester City

Earlier this afternoon, Manchester City made a mockery of the old adage that money can’t buy happiness, stuffing Spurs 5-1 at White Hart Lane.

Edin Dzeko was the star of the show, bagging four goals to take his personal tally to six in just three league games.

The Bosnian opened the scoring with a powerful volley on 34 minutes before doubling City’s advantage with his head four minutes before the break.

In the second period, he simply picked up where he had left off, tapping home Yaya Toure’s cross before new boy Sergio Aguero made it four from a tight angle.

Younes Kaboul’s header in the 68th minute was of scant consolation to the home support, and their misery was completed in the third minute of injury time when Dzeko curled his fourth past Brad Friedel from 20 yards out.

Newcastle United 2-1 Fulham

A second-half brace from Irish international Leon Best gave Newcastle all three points at home to Fulham in one of the afternoon’s earlier kick-offs.

The striker opened the scoring in the 48th minute, reacting quickest to pounce after Yohan Cabaye’s strike had cannoned back off Mark Schwartzer’s crossbar.

Best’s second was the product of some fine build-up play by summer signings Gabriel Obertan and Demba Ba, the latter’s pinpoint cross allowing the striker to double Newcastle’s advantage.

A Clint Dempsey header in the 88th minute halved Fulham’s deficit but it was too little, too late for Martin Jol’s men.

West Brom 0-1 Stoke City

Persistence paid for Ryan Shotton and Stoke at the Hawthorns this afternoon. The 22-year-old struck in the 89th minute to seal all three points, beating both Gabriel Tamas and Ben Foster a hopeful long ball before poking it past the keeper and into an empty net.

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