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Dublin: 10°C Tuesday 20 April 2021
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Departures Lounge: Nicki Minaj gives her verdict on today's transfer rumours

She’s overjoyed about the reunion of Andy Carroll and Stewart Downing.

Will it happen?

Long line: More attacking competition for the boy Shane Long at West Brom as the Baggies have brought in 21-year-old Czech striker Matej Vydra on a season-long loan from Udinese.

Vydra was also farmed out from the Serie A side last season, when he scored 20 goals for Watford.

Deadly duo? By now you probably already know that Stewart Downing has been summoned by Big Sam to be his one-stop Andy Carroll ammunition supply depot. Headers ahoy!

Will it happen?

Bale in or Bale out? Remember then The Office was just a snappy British TV series? Good, then you’ll remember the excruciating lust between Tim and Dawn that was never fully consummated.

Well, when we told you yesterday that Manchester United had started to sniff around White Hart Lane as Spurs grew weary of Real Madrid quarreling over a measly eight figure sum, we didn’t truly believe that the great summer romance would end in neither party being brave enough to seal the deal.

Carlo Ancelotti has, according to The Telegraph, told Florentino Pérez that the Welshman doesn’t really feature in his tactical masterplan for the coming season. Go figure.

Sideshow: Mundo Deportivo are saying that David Luiz is totes gonna break it off with Chelsea, you guys. The spark just isn’t there any more. He wants Barca, they want him… but they’ll hope to sneak him across international waters on the cheap.

Will it happen?

Dodging Doyle: Steve Bruce has whisked Kevin Doyle’s Premier League lifeline right back into the boat, saying speculation linking the Wexford man with the Humberside Tigers (or whatever they’re called nowadays) is “wide of the mark”. Not the words any striker wants to hear.

The Anzhi Makachkala exodus: Eto’o wants out. Now Willian is being toted by The Sun as a replacement Luis Suarez at Liverpool (though Spurs Zenit St Petersburg and Shakhtar Donetsk  fancy their chances too).

We don’t see it, do you? Those three clubs in the brackets up there will lead the chase for the man with the mixed up name.

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