A LOT OF us really enjoyed wrestling when we were kids but grew out of it as we started to become more attached to, you know, sports that are actually real. But there is one time of year that will make you long for the days of Vince McMahon and Stone Cold Steve Austin and that is Royal Rumble season.
The WWE’s 30-man over the top rope battle royal is an hour of madcap fun that decides who goes on to fight in the main event at Wrestlemania and it takes place this Sunday night.
To mark the occasion we decided to settle one of wrestling’s great debates: whose theme song is the best?
We played so many dodgy efforts over the speakers in The42 office that it became a form of torture after about 20 minutes but having listened to every entrance song ever produced we can bring you a definitive ranking of the ten best.
The songs were judged on three things:
- How well it fits the character
- How catchy it is
- If it actually sounds any good
In reverse order…
10. Stone Cold Steve Austin
The second the glass shattered you knew you were in business. Stone Cold was a foul-mouthed, beer-swigging hell-raiser who lived to give Mr McMahon Stone Cold Stunners and his theme song conveyed all of this.
I didn’t want to put it any higher than tenth because without sounding too much like Father Ted…. ‘ it is basically the same f**king note over and over again’.
9. The Million Dollar Man
This is an underrated classic because it came before the era of Austin/The Rock when the songs got a lot more heavily produced. The laugh in the background is so smug, arrogant and evil, which is exactly what you want from a wrestling villain.
If I ever win the Lotto, I’m going to enter every room like I’m the Million Dollar Man.
8. The Rock
The most electrifying man in sports entertainment also had one of the best theme songs. The Rock went through a few different variations but the original one is probably the strongest.
He also had a fairly forgettable villain turn in the mid 00′s when he was basically Hollywood Rock, who had gotten really arrogant since doing that terrible Scorpion King movie. He had new music, which isn’t ranked in this list but was an important tune in The42′s quest to find the best theme song.
7. Evolution
Evolution was a short lived faction featuring Triple H, Batista, Randy Orton and Ric Flair. They were basically the Toulon of WWE groups – such a star-studded bunch of galacticos. They had enough purchasing power to not only create a catchy theme song, but also film a great promo video.
Limousines, helicopters, private nightclub rooms and a bevy of models feature throughout. I think a lot of men wish they could be honorary members of Evolution…
6. The Undertaker
As a song, The Undertaker’s theme isn’t the strongest – if it came on at Coppers on a Saturday night it would elicit a very subdued response from the weekend revellers. But what it lacks in dynamism, it makes up for in presence.
Every time ‘Taker entered the ring, it was an occasion. Although if you are comparing him with Evolution… would you rather your groupies were models or druids?
5. Vince McMahon
Vince McMahon embodies the mean boss and his music – complete with that swaggering Mr McMahon walk – is just exceptional. McMahon ranks high on this list because even though we all hate him, we’d still jump at the chance to stride down the ramp swinging our arms like a deranged power-walker.
4. The Big Show
The Big Show has arguably the best start to any theme song, ‘WELLLLLLLLLLLLL’ and it just keeps going on from there. The biggest man in wrestling fittingly gets a big, loud song that sticks in your head. If you ever get the nickname The Big Show, you know at least one area of your life is booming.
3. Goldberg
The music, like The Undertaker’s, could do with some sprucing up but when you add in the ridiculously cool entrance, then Goldberg deserves his place on the list. When he debuted in WCW he started with a ridiculous win streak and every march to the ring felt like an event in itself.
That is simply the greatest video ever created. Watching Goldberg almost snap the door off its hinges and walk to the ring through the bowels of the stadium flanked by security is an intimidating experience even as you watch a video that is 10+ years old.
Honestly, Goldberg could have probably ripped his opponent’s arm off back then. And he also adheres to the golden rule of wrestling entrances – the more pyrotechnics, the better.
2. HBK
Two things immediately jumped out at me when listening back to HBK’s ‘Sexy Boy’.
- The lyrics were definitely more salacious and racy than I had remembered. I’m surprised they were allowed play it pre-watershed.
- Looking back, how inappropriate is it that an 11-year-old me thought nothing of belting out this tune while innocently not realising what I was actually saying?
Regardless, this is an upbeat tune that always got the crowd hopping.
1. The Game
After listening to 1000 hours of wrestling theme songs, this is the winner we arrived at. For ten years, nobody was more dominant than HHH and this song perfectly summed up how much better he was than everybody else. This is actually a decent song too, and Lemmy from Motorhead does a great job with the vocals.
But more importantly, try watching this video and then deny that it’s the entrance you would most like to recreate.
So that is our top ten but here are four that you might have expected to see, and the reasons they were omitted.
Hulk Hogan
Very catchy but after recently seeing ‘American Sniper’, I was all ‘USA, USA!’ed out.
Bret Hart
A decent guitar riff… I suppose. But it doesn’t leave you wanting more like the others.
Mark Henry and Val Venis
Henry and Venis’ songs were far too erotic to make the list. HBK was the limit.
What would your list of favourite entrance songs include?
