THE WORLD CUP is in England, so (apart from all of us brave souls who don’t work regular Monday-Friday, 9-6 shifts) the majority of the population will be able to watch most of the tournament’s fixtures without that pesky day job getting in the way.
We said ‘most’ of the fixtures though, not all. If you want to watch all 48 games you’ll have to sneak out from work a few times to fulfill that dream. Here, we have selected five days and means to make your wish come true.
1. ‘Oh, I’ve got a, erm… dental appointment… root canal? Sure’
When and how to use it: Don’t mention rugby all morning, but come noon on Wednesday 23 September: BAM!
Lying, worth it because…
Week one features the only major three-game midweek day. Skive off work in plenty of time for Australia v Fiji at 16.45. The two-time champions open their tournament against the pool of death’s dark horses.
You can warm up for that afternoon delight by treating yourself to Scotland v Japan at 14.30 – any excuse to sing Flower of Scotland at full belt. And that should leave you fully warmed up for France v Romania at 20.00. The feature match of the evening is in Ireland’s pool, so yo have to watch it anyway.
2. ‘Boss, it’s Friday. Can we pleeeeeeeaaaaaaasee get off early for the weekend?’
When and how to use it: Get yourself into a mindframe to be at your most lick-arsey on Friday 25 September so you get out the gap by 16.00.
Lying, worth it because…
It’s Argentina v Georgia at 16.45. There might be a new Rugby World Cup record set and Ireland might (maybe, hopefully) have to play Argentina in the quarter-final. So obviously you have to get scouting.
3. ‘The child minder’s sick, I’ve to head off now. Did you not know I have kids? Jesus!’
When and how to use it: Let’s say around 15.05 on Tuesday 29 September. Make sure that whoever questions the existence of your offspring feels really bad for forgetting about little Mamuka and Quade (or whatever names you just made up).
Lying, worth it because…
It’s Tonga v Namibia at 16.45. How many other chances to you get to watch Tonga?
4. ‘Right. I’m off, lads. See ye tomorrow’
When and how to use it: Be assertive, be confident like leaving early is no big deal. You’d want to be on the road home after lunch on Thursday 1 October, just to get nice and pumped for the big game.
Lying, worth it because…
This pool of death has you by the throat, you can’t a miss a beat and you certainly can’t miss Wales v Fiji at 16.45
5. ‘Ugh, I feel like I’m going to puke all over this place and it’s probably contagious’
When and how to use it: Maybe it was something you ate at lunch on Wednesday 7 October? Maybe you go in to a cold sweat before ever even going to work? Who can say when the mystery illness will strike.
Lying, worth it because…
At 16.45 one of the tournament favourites, South Africa, are up against the power of all 50 United States. There’s no point in missing that and then watching Namibia v Georgia is there? No. No is the answer.
