Dublin: -2°C Tuesday 18 January 2022

13 things you won't be able to sidestep this Six Nations weekend

Pipin’ ain’t easy.

INTERNATIONAL RUGBY IS back at last. Here’s a dozen and one things you’ll definitely see this weekend – whether you want to or not.

1. National stereotypes will be at their most stereotypical

Daffodils, Guinness, Kilts, accordions and whatever England are famous for (apart from the whole taking control of other countries thing) the pre-match promos will have it all.

Schalk Brits takes a pint from someone in the crowd, takes a drink then hands it back Source: Morgan Treacy/INPHO

Note to TV scriptwriters: above you can see a South African man who lives and works in England drinking a pint of Guinness. We all enjoy the black stuff, not just Irish people!

2. You’ll stumble on a heap of people who are studious refereeing experts

Despite tuning in to watch their first rugby game since 18 October.

There’s only one deterrent for that lad shouting ‘ah REF’ every two minutes really.


3. We’ll be treated to at least 17 slow-mo clips of players running past pre-match pyrotechnics

Ireland's fans with flames in Murrayfield Source: Inpho/Billy Stickland

If we know French live TV directors like we thing we do, they’ll want to cut away from the match as much as possible to show off their frame-per-second rate. Also, last year’s opener managed to make Sam Warburton like a WWE fan favourite…

Sam Warburton makes his way out for his 50th cap Source: James Crombie/INPHO

…they’ve gotta make an effort to top that, right?

4. Half the country will be lost without George Hook on RTE

Sure who else can casually bring Strongbow and Winston Churchill into the conversation?

George Hook gets dunked 24/2/2005 Source: INPHO

5. The other half will pretend not to miss the old chap

Irish fans with George Hook lyric sheet Source: Morgan Treacy/INPHO

6. This guy!

1214326272 Source: PRESSEYE/INPHO

Break out the brushes, there’s mid-match impressionist painting to be done. Paris, eh?

7. There will be Bagpipes

Saturday night in Edinburgh just would’nae be the same with-oot them.

Rugby Union - RBS 6 Nations Championship 2011 - Scotland v Ireland - Murrayfield Piping's hungry work y'know.

8. ‘French flair’ will be back in the lexicon (and not in an ironic way this time)

Bienvenue, Guy!

Guy Noves Source: James Crombie/INPHO

9. By Sunday afternoon, the phrase ‘World Cup hangover’ will make your head hurt more than your actual hangover

giphy (2)

10. ‘Warren-Ball’ will be the reason Wales win, or the reason they lose

This gameplan may only be applied in the pejorative sense.

Wales Squad Named for the RBS 6 Nations - Vale Resort Source: David Davies

11. Great big burly props will be reduced to a sniffling mess for their anthem

Don’t worry, Bull, we’ll not name any names.

John Hayes runs out into Croke Park 11/2/2007 Source: Morgan Treacy/INPHO

12. You’ll be/hear/read a person who gets extremely angry after just a few notes of Ireland’s Call

It’s not the best, sure, but most anthems aren’t.

Besides! It’s an inclusive anthem, lads, try to extend your arms, open your heart and and be inclusive.

Ireland team at the national anthem Source: Billy Stickland/INPHO

13. Though we’ll all be humming along to La Marseillaise, Flower of Scotland, Hen Wlad fy Nhadau and Il Canto degli Italiani

We might even sing a bit of ‘em if we can remember which words go where.

Source: Julian Zee/YouTube

3 players who stood out in Ireland U20s’ Six Nations defeat to Wales

A bruiser in Belfast as Paddy Jackson’s late, late show gets Ulster the win

About the author:

Sean Farrell

Read next: