13 ways to live your life like Karl Fletcher

You’re welcome.

1. Don’t listen to the critics

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And NEVER, let anyone slag off your teammates.

2. Never let friends bring you down

“172 Premiership goals mate!”

3. Stay away from jealous teammates

Also, don’t be homophobic.

4. Give your love to Sky Sports News

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“If you can’t be a professional footballer, pretend to be a professional footballer.”

5. Learn from your mistakes

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And try your best to overcome whatever ludicrous plot line the scriptwriters decide to throw at you.

6. Come back from the dead

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What was that I was saying about ludicrous plot lines?

7. It also helps to occasionally turn your life into a Jason Statham movie

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With My Chemical Romance on the soundtrack, naturally.

8. Stick to your principles

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And be wary of those who seek to spike your drink with cocaine.

9. Exercise regularly

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And be sure to work on that posture.

10. Don’t follow the crowd

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“Who’s been a load of naughty boys then?”

11. Always be courteous to interviewers

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Look away now, Ron Atkinson!

12. Revel in life abroad

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Then again, you can take the boy out of Harchester but…

13. Show some loyalty

Despite the stint at Real Mallorca, Fletch will always be a Harchester legend…

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About the author:

Paul Fennessy

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