ANDREW PORTER HAS never shied away from being open. He is a real-life influencer in that regard, sharing very personal details about his life in order to spread the message that it’s OK to speak about tough times.
The 29-year-old has always come across as a happy-go-lucky person, a gregarious character who sees the good in everything.
And sitting with him at Ireland’s training camp in Portugal, with his mullet, moustache, and colourful tattoos, you could easily think he’s someone who hasn’t had mental struggles during his life.
But Porter’s openness means we know that’s not the case. He has spoken several times about the devastating loss of his mother, Wendy, when he was just 12 and the effect it has had on him since.
He regularly acknowledges the importance of the support his family, including his dad Ernie. Porter and his wife, Elaine, also recently shared on social media that they had been through two miscarriages last year as they announced the happy news of an impending arrival in 2025.
“Sending love to anyone who has struggled with pregnancy at any stage, you’re not alone,” read their post on Instagram.
All of this is important to Porter because he wants people to understand that rugby players are more than just professional athletes. They’re just like the rest of us, dealing with the highs and lows of life.
“A lot of people only see the players on the weekend when they’re playing, but that’s only 5% of who players are,” said Porter at Ireland’s training camp in Portugal.
“Sure most of the time we’re at home. We have families, lives outside of rugby as well and I suppose there’s a lot that can happen outside of rugby that can impact your on-field performance and vice versa.
“There’s stuff that can happen in the game that can affect your home life as well.
“It’s incredibly important, I think people only see us rugby players as rugby players and not as brothers, husbands, boyfriends or whatever – there’s so much to the players other than what you see for 80 minutes on a Saturday.
“I suppose you get a lot of people who think they know what they’re talking about, who think they know the players, who think they know how to play the game but they don’t actually know because they’ve never done it themselves.
“You can bring up that quote about ‘The Man in the Arena’ by Theodore Roosevelt whereby people might think they know what’s going on, but they’ve no clue when it comes down to it.
“It’s tough to see, because there’s a lot of criticism now, people have a lot of platforms to do it now. People would be posting stuff and they’d be able to hide behind their social media accounts. I think people who do it are cowards.”
Porter is a social media user but he can see how younger players in the Ireland squad have their “heads buried in their phones” when they’re away from training.
He used to over-analyse any criticism of his performances he saw online but he has learned to block it out.
He will soon be much too busy to even have time for social media scrolling, with Elaine due in May.
“So busy time of the year and it’s going to add to a busy calendar,” said Porter.
“Just taking one step at a time. I feel a bit bad being over here in Portugal being looked after so well when my pregnant wife is at home battling the storms.
“Ah no, we’re delighted, taking small steps and taking each day as it comes.”
Porter has recently been getting to grips with a new role on the pitch at Leinster, whose coaches have twice used him off the bench 20 minutes into games rather than starting him.
Porter replaced Jack Boyle against Munster just after Christmas and then came on for Cian Healy in the Champions Cup win over La Rochelle this month. It remains to be seen if Ireland copy a tactic that means Porter can finish out games at loosehead prop.
“I put my trust in the coaches who devised the plan,” said Porter of the new ploy.
“I was a small bit hesitant, trying to wrap my brain around it. I suppose you’re used to starting a game, so mentally it’s a bit different as well. Trying to get into the game after 20 minutes, see the pace of the game from the sideline.
“But I suppose after the first time I did it against Munster it was, ‘How do I get my second wind after coming on? The pace of the game was so high. I don’t want to be playing catch-up.
“Against La Rochelle, I had to gas myself for the first 20 minutes while the game was going on so I could get my second wind when it was time to come on. I’m not against it, it’s interesting and different. I have my head around it.”
He has also enjoyed getting to know popular new tighthead Rabah Slimani, who has impressed since joining from Clermont and is part of France’s Six Nations squad.
“Mon chéri,” said Porter with a smile when Slimani was mentioned.
“Me and Rabah get on very well. I’ve been messaging him a small bit in broken French. He’s trying to teach me French and I’m trying to teach him English.
“I was delighted for him when he got the call-up to the French team. We played the French national anthem and all for him at Leinster a few times that day. I’m delighted for him. It’s his first time in six years he’s been in the team.
“It’s fully deserved. He’s playing incredible rugby with Leinster. Scrummaging is his thing and he loves it.
“Scrumming against him in training he’s definitely different to some of the tightheads in Leinster, his style of scrum. It’s always good to be thrown a different challenge like that.
“Hopefully he’s not divulging too many secrets to the French lads in camp. I’m delighted for him to have got the call up. I hope it goes well.”
He is an awesome human being and I am just glad that rugby gives him the platform to deliver his message. Lots of us go through our struggles and unfortunately it takes confidence to be open and trust others with our stories. Mostly, the people who need it most are the ones who won’t talk about it and generally it is too late before we realise that they needed us. So please just talk… and if someone chooses to talk to you, please listen. You don’t need to fix them, they just need you to relate.
@Paul Ennis: great last line Paul. No fixing, just listening and empathy for the person. Guys find it exceedingly difficult to share feelings around anxiety and depression but when someone does, show some love and compassion. As guys we often want to solve problems, when we just need to listen and not judge.
@Con Cussed: And I am as guilty as the next person and I have learned in the harshest way imaginable I am afraid… But I have also learned so much from my Son in the last few years and this is one of the invaluable lessons he has taught me – don’t go immediately to advice and instruction. Not every moment is a teaching moment. Our kids generally want to and need to make their own mistakes. We need to be there to invisibly pick them back up again.
@Paul Ennis: well said Paul. Fair play.
@Paul Ennis: Well said Paul
Top bloke. Love you Ports
Nice one Ports!
Ahhh lovely photo looks about 12 good read
No harm but I’ve read the same article on Andrew Porter at least 5 times.
@An tEoghanach: And I get the sense that if you read it another 5 times, it still won’t be enough. Take some time to be aware of those around you… they might need you. I hope you never get to experience depression personally or through a loved one, but the odds are stacked against it. When and if you need support, you will find it lacking. People like Andrew will help increase awareness at least.
@An tEoghanach: perhaps you are the type of people he is referring to
Quoting Teddy Roosevelt. A footballer would never