ANDY FRIEND WAS a nomad right from the start. His dad’s work meant the family shifted from his native Canberra down to Melbourne when he was still very young. When he was nine, they moved all the way to Switzerland. At 12, it was off to Surrey in England.
They ended up back in Canberra in time for him to be capped by Australia Schoolboys but when injuries ruined his playing career, Friend made an early move into coaching. Given the travels of his youth, it’s no surprise that rugby has kept him on the road.
From Japan back to Australia over to England back to Canberra on to Japan again and then another return to Oz – Friend and his wife, Kerri, were regularly on the move. By the time they landed in Connacht, they were settling into their 15th home in 23 years.
It has turned out that Connacht have kept them in one place for the longest time. Five years. They’re proper Knocknacarra locals at this stage and they’ll be hugely missed when they head away in their campervan this summer, taking in some more of Ireland, plenty of Europe, and then the Rugby World Cup in France before returning to Australia.
Connacht will miss Andy Friend the rugby coach too. He has been typically selfless in starting the process of handing over the reins in the last two seasons, gradually giving his assistants more and more responsibility to the point where Pete Wilkins must feel truly ready to be the main man next season.
Regardless of what happens this weekend in Cape Town – Connacht travelled today with belief they can beat the Stormers – Friend will be leaving Connacht in a good place. A URC semi-final is a remarkable achievement, particularly given that they beat Ulster away in the quarter-finals despite the northern province’s financial and demographical advantages.
With Champions Cup qualification also guaranteed now and with exciting homegrown players having established themselves, this already goes down as a superb season for Connacht. How magical it would be if Friend and co. could keep the wheels moving into a final back in Ireland.
Friend came into Connacht after the whole thing had come off the rails under Kieran Keane, who just didn’t fit. Following a miserable season under Keane, the new Aussie boss led Connacht into the Pro14 quarter-finals at the first time of asking.
The westerners have won more than they’ve lost ever since and though there was deep frustration last season as they missed out on the URC play-offs and Champions Cup qualification, they have rebounded impressive in the current campaign.
This semi-final didn’t look possible at certain stages. A tough run of opening fixtures away from the Sportsground left them chasing. Midway through the season, there was some unhappiness and disappointment to deal with in the squad as some players learned they wouldn’t be staying on in Connacht. But Friend helped to keep things calm.
It’s a strength of his. Anyone who has met him will have been struck by his relaxed vibe. Not that he doesn’t take his work seriously, but he’s got a great perspective on rugby not being everything.
He shakes his head at memories of working flat out until 2.30 every morning in Japan early in his coaching years, trying to cover every possible base when that really wasn’t possible.
What gave him most perspective was when Kerri suffered a serious brain injury in a mountain biking accident in 2010. It was initially unclear whether she would pull through but thankfully she recovered quickly. So being sacked by the Brumbies nine months later didn’t feel like too big a deal for Friend.
“You get a real life lesson around that when a loved one is maybe going to get through, maybe not going to get through,” is how Friend puts it. “There’s a definite change.
“You stop and you think, ‘There’s far more to life than a footy game.’”
Friend has carried that understanding with him ever since and it’s why he is invariably so balanced after Connacht’s games. Never too distraught after their defeats. Never overly elated following their wins.
As important as anything he has done in a rugby sense is the fact that everyone in Connacht has found him to be a good person. Professional sport can sometimes squeeze the decency out of people like Friend or even just squeeze people like Friend out altogether.
There’s no doubt that he has the edge required to be a professional coach too but Friend’s wholehearted respect for others has always shone through.
Whether this Saturday is the end or the journey rolls on into a final, Friend will shake hands and share a beer with his players, coaches, and friends, then leave a lasting impression when he drives off into the sun.
