1. “He hated the ground”
In fairness, this is a pretty good excuse. Some horses love soft ground but others prefer galloping along on a surface as hard as a car park. It is, however, one of the easiest excuses to trot out after your 66/1 shot unsurprisingly trailed home last.
2. “He was crying out for a longer trip”
Horses can’t cry out. They can’t even speak. However, this is a handy one as there’s really no way someone can disprove it unless the horse has actually competed over a longer distance and still lost.
3. “Ah, she was off the bridle”
Most people who use this phrase haven’t a clue what it means — the horse had to be worked quite hard to compete — but you’ll sound like you know what you’re talking about at the water-cooler at work when the office chat inevitably turns to Cheltenham.
4. “The weight beat him”
A horse weighs what, half a tonne give or take? So how could a weight penalty of a couple of pounds really influence it? That shouldn’t stop you from using this excuse though as some jockeys and trainers have been known to fall back to it every now and then.
5. ”She had to make all the running”
Did your five horse, 150/1 accumulator fall at the final hurdle when the fifth horse lost out on the line? Just blame it on the fact she had to set her own pace as none of the other contenders would take up the running. Easy.
What have we missed? Which excuses will you be trotting out next week when your horse loses? Let us know in the comments below.
