TAKING A PAUSE between questions, Ulster’s James Hume joked that the conversation was becoming more “therapy session” than the expected media duties to preview Saturday night’s URC clash away to Glasgow.
The 25-year-old confesses to being the type who wears his heart on his sleeve but admits he has been attempting to process the reasons behind two contrasting displays of recent emotion in the white jersey.
The latter, and the starting point of the discussion, was the public, almost primal, roar that greeted his try against the Lions last weekend.
His first score since April, and another sign of the gradual regaining of form so impacted by the groin injury he sustained on Ireland ‘A’ duty in New Zealand two summers ago, one still sensed there was something more to his scream towards the sky in what was on the surface a run of the mill URC fixture.
“Just a lot of personal stuff going on at the minute,” he said. “I had a rough week last week, so it was a bit of pressure going into that game for me personally because it was just different the way I had handled things.
“It was probably the last couple of weeks, (the) frustration, aggression, emotion, just all came out.
“It’s that kind of stuff that maybe led to that emotional outburst.
“That feeling of running out and scoring, all that type of stuff is stuff you need to soak up.
“I wear my heart on my sleeve, so it probably comes out more than anyone else.
“I apologise to the kids, I did it in front of them, because they probably don’t want to go back to the family stand again.”
Previously, against the Bulls in the side’s first home game of the season last month, Hume found his emotions manifesting in a decidedly different fashion.
“I don’t know why after the Bulls game, when we won, I started crying for some reason,” he said.
“Billy (Burns) was like after the game, ‘are you crying?’
“And I was like, ‘I don’t know, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.’
“It wasn’t uncontrolled, it just started coming out. I don’t know, maybe it was just the reward of all the work I’d put in in pre-season mentally and physically to try and get myself back to where I wanted to be and then seeing it actually work.
“In that game there were times where it was a one-score game and they were down in our ’22′ with a chance to draw in the last play. In the back of my mind I’m thinking, ‘I really hope we win this’, and then when you do it’s like, ‘oh God, I’ve forgotten what this feeling is like.’
“It’s class being back out there, though, I’m really enjoying myself at the minute.”
It is almost easy to forget now that when Ireland departed for that ultimately historic trip to New Zealand, there was a groundswell of support for the theory that the then in-form Hume should start a Test ahead of Garry Ringrose.
The midweek groin injury put paid to that and, while he would pull on the green jersey again on a disappointing night for Ireland ‘A’ against their Kiwi counterparts 12 months ago, his most recent full cap came from the bench against Italy in the 2022 Six Nations. He didn’t even make Andy Farrell’s extended training panel prior to the World Cup.
A key member of his province’s defensive leadership group, the centre remains central to Ulster’s hopes this season however and, after a lost season last time around, feels in a considerably better place five games into this one.
“I put on a brave face last year but, like I said in pressers before, I didn’t appreciate the severity of the injury,” he said. “And then I pushed everything to the back of my head. I was like, ‘everything’s fine and I’ll get better’, and I didn’t work on myself as much as I should have so it took pre-season and the start of this season to change the way I’ve reviewed games, changed the way I’ve prepped, using our psychologist Darren (Devaney) and stuff he’s been unbelievable.
“My mentality has changed for the better and it’s working, hopefully.
“I know it’s early in the season, but I feel like I’m in a much better place than I’ve been in my whole playing career.”
Still, Hume admits he is currently working on ensuring the aforementioned “personal stuff” does not bleed into his on-field performances. While, try aside, he put in a strong performance against the Lions, there were times in the build-up when he didn’t feel his usual self as kick-off approached.
“Dealing with stuff off the pitch, it’s brought it on the pitch as well and I feel like there is a lot more emotion,” he said. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I feel like I’m in a good place at the minute but I’m still dealing with it.
“I’m still trying to work out how to deal with it.
“It’s not even one thing, it was a mixture of things. I had a nap before the game and I woke up and I didn’t feel motivated at all, I felt in this really weird headspace.
“I did a bit of journaling and then listened to some music that really gets me going, and then it was ‘right, wise up, snap back into it and worry about it after.’
“I performed well so I’m just learning in terms of trying to work that out, but it’s a work in progress.
“I think people talk about it a lot more but it’s just one thing the supporters and (others) don’t take into consideration. I could have gone out there and had a stinker and people would be like, ‘Oh, he’s fell off, or he’s not playing well.’
“But it’s deeper than that. Thankfully I haven’t actually let it affect my performance.
“But I’m very lucky I have an unbelievable support group, like my best mates are constantly asking ‘are you ok?’
“I’m happy enough to chat with them so that probably helps a lot as well.”
