1. You’re always waiting in the long grass
2. You never know who you’d meet along the streets a’ Clones
©INPHO/Morgan Treacy
3. If you’d ever been given a ref as good as Pat McEnaney, the Sam Maguire would’ve spent a long winter in The Squealing Pig
©INPHO/Andrew Paton
4. You might never have watched a rugby game in your life before Tommy Bowe, but…
…now you tell anyone who asks that it was his time as a club footballer with Emyvale that made him a Lion (And you might add that you used to splash about in his paddling pool).
©INPHO/Dan Sheridan
5. You knew United went bust long before Roddy got back from his holidays
©INPHO/Morgan Treacy
6. You know a woman with an All Ireland medal…
Oh, for the heady days of ’96.
Linda Farrelly takes aim © Patrick Bolger/INPHO
7. … or two
There’s Angela Larkin lifting trophies like a boss in ’97.
© Patrick Bolger/INPHO
8. You don’t believe anything you read in the papers until a Clerkin has their name to it
The Northern Standard and online publications are obvious exceptions to ‘The Malachy Principle’. ©INPHO/Dan Sheridan
9. You got Jack Charlton’s autograph one time when he was promoting Monaghan Champion Milk. ‘Monaghan Champion Milk’ is the only phrase you can say with a perfect Geordie accent.
Credit: Cycling Ireland
10. You might not set foot in Clones from one end of the year to the next but you’ll defend to the death the town’s right to host the Ulster final
©INPHO/Cathal Noonan
11. You know that Nudie Hughes is the only man to win an All Star as a corner back and corner forward… and NOT a mid-range escort
Thanks for the clarification, Wikipiedia.
12. You still hold out hope that Trap will give Jonathan Douglas a recall.
Doesn’t he look well in white with blue trim all the same.
David Howarth/PA Archive/Press Association Images
13. You can’t remember a time when Dick Clerkin and Owen Lennon weren’t in the middle for the throw-in.
Well, you’ll see it against Cavan tomorrow!
14. You tell anyone who’ll listen that John Cecil Parke is Ireland’s greatest ever sportsman.
Represented Ireland at rugby, golf, cricket, athletics and chess. Also won an Olympic* silver medal in tennis in 1908.
*Okay, it was for Britain. But nobody’s perfect.
15. You have been taught by either a former GAA President or the current GAA Director General.
16. You used to see this man on every trip to Gortakeegan
17. You had a Barry McGuigan poster on your wall as a child. It’s currently in the attic. You will never throw it out.
©INPHO/Getty Images
