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Paul Galvin releases the greatest statement you will ever read about a GAA player's beard

Stop whatever you are doing and read this now.

FOLLOWING YESTERDAY’S WIN against Cork, Kerry footballer and fashionista Paul Galvin has released a statement to clear up some of the issues surrounding the current state of his beard.

We’ll say no more. Just read it.

Paul Galvin’s statement in full

Further to recent Twitter activity and pictures published in today’s press relating to my appearance in yesterday’s Kerry V Cork NFL game I would like to utterly and unequivocally distance myself from any claims made regarding my beard being overgrown. My beard is no longer now than it was for the Down game and any efforts made to suggest it is overgrown or unkempt will be treated with the utmost gravity.

Full beards or “statement beards” as they are known in the high streets and piazzas of Lixnaw, Abbeydorney, Kilflynn, Ballyduff, Causeway and Ballyheigue are all the rage from North Kerry to New York City right now.

Furthermore any attempts made to liken me to Charlie Bird, The Puck Goat or various Arabs will be disputed and dealt with accordingly. Attempts to compare me in appearance to Our Lord will be treated as blasphemy. Those making such comparisons, thus taking Our Lords name in vain will pay their dues on the Day Of Reckoning. Co

Furthermore and finally my personal grooming is a personal matter, one which i take very seriously as the pictures show. I will deal with any grooming issues i may or may not have privately heretofore and I would ask the media and my Twitter followers to respect my right to do so. I am only commenting publicly in response to the many references that have been made to it in the public domain over the last 24 hours.

I will make no further comment on this matter at this point.

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