RUGBY ISN’T FOR everyone. We get that, we really do. But we promise you’ll enjoy the next six weeks a whole lot more if you stop trying to ignore the World Cup. Just polish up your brass neck and hop aboard the bandwagon like you’ve been there all along.
Don’t say
What colour are New Zealand?
There will be rare events when New Zealand have to change kit, but 99% of the time just look out for the team in All Black. Actually, you can go ahead and call them the All Blacks to ease the pressure on the memory bank.
Where is Brian O’Driscoll?
South Africa: they’re all pack and no back, AMIRIGHT?
Sit back and watch those Bokke backs fly.
Australia are an easy touch once you have a scrum
Yeah, go ask the All Blacks.
Then check which country has won two World Cups in Europe.
Paul O’Connell’s past it, just too old to cut it
Stony silence is the best response you can possibly hope for if you utter this nonsense.
Pfft! England always talk the talk, but fail on the big stage
That’s probably the football team you’re thinking of. It’s closer to the opposite in rugby.
It’s about time Jamie Heaslip was dropped
He can rub people up the wrong way with his off field persona, but when Ireland’s number eight goes to work, he really goes to work.
Do say
I dunno. Taking two scrum-halves could really backfire
Nobody wants to talk about injuries, but if Schmidt loses Conor Murray or Eoin Reddan within 48 hours of kick-off then the remaining scrum-half is a walking target.
Ask: ‘What do you think about overseas players being drafted in to represent other nations?’
Go easy on the offloads, lads
Sure they look great when they work. But what will Joe say if Ireland lose possession.
https://vine.co/v/O60vln69mPb
It’s just ridiculous that four of the world’s top 10 teams are all in a single pool
Bonus points then when you know the four teams.
What would we do without Mike Ross / Peter O’Mahony / Rory Best?
Pick an unsung hero from the starting line-up, sing their praises. Preach to the choir and bask in the chorus coming back your way.
‘How are we going to play without Robbie Henshaw?’
Guaranteed to get a multi-layered chat going.
‘Listen, you just have to trust Joe’
Guaranteed to end an argument and have everyone nodding sagely in agreement.
