EVERY YEAR, THERE’S a mass exodus of Irish punters to Cheltenham — but we can’t all drop everything and spend a couple of days screaming our throats raw at horses and the men on their backs.
If you want to have the authentic Cheltenham experience from home, or from the office, here are the 21 steps you’ll need:
1. Grab a set of binoculars
(Barry Batchelor/PA Archive/Press Association Images)
2. And pick out a fancy hat
(©INPHO/Dan Sheridan)
3. You might want to wear something that identifies you as Irish
(©INPHO/Dan Sheridan)
4. But don’t overdo it
(©INPHO/Dan Sheridan)
5. Then you need to find a seat
(©INPHO/Dan Sheridan)
6. And study the form
(©INPHO/Dan Sheridan)
7. If you can’t make up your mind, ask a friend or colleague
(Phil Walter/EMPICS Sport)
8. Make sure you get a good vantage point
(©INPHO/Dan Sheridan)
(Phil Cole/PA Archive/Press Association Images)
9. Waiting around can be a bit nerve-wracking
(©INPHO/Dan Sheridan)
10. So have a dance
(©INPHO/Dan Sheridan)
11. Or sing a song
(©INPHO/Dan Sheridan)
12. If you’re hungry, now’s a good time to get that burger
(©INPHO/Dan Sheridan)
13. Or have a pint of Guinness
(Barry Batchelor Wire/PA Archive/Press Association Images)
13. You don’t need to dress like one though
(Barry Batchelor/PA Archive/Press Association Images)
15. Check out the horses in the parade ring
(David Jones/PA Archive/Press Association Images)
16. And make sure you get your bet on in plenty of time
(David Jones/PA Archive/Press Association Images)
17. Once the race starts, scream your heart out
(©INPHO/Dan Sheridan)
18. And if you win, hug your mates (or a randomer)
(©INPHO/Dan Sheridan)
19. Double down on the celebrations if it’s an Irish winner
(©INPHO/Dan Sheridan)
20. Even if this guy is the owner
(©INPHO/Dan Sheridan)
21. And if you lose… well, you know what to do
(Tony Marshall/EMPICS Sport)
