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Mike Tyson and Jake Paul face off at Wednesday's 'press conference'. Ed Mulholland/INPHO

Ramshackle Dallas press conference evokes Netflix's favourite question: Are you still watching?

Taylor makes bet with Jake Paul, Tony Bellew makes fool of himself, and writer seeks refuge from pantomime.

THE JAKE PAUL-MIKE Tyson press conference was the worst event Iโ€™ve ever attended, in any context. It made me feel worse about what awaits us on Friday night. It made me feel worse about myself.

All week, Iโ€™ve contended that boxers of the gravitas of Katie Taylor and Amanda Serrano should take the circus money and run. But as they bore witness to a ramshackle shit-show from the back of the stage on Wednesday, one couldnโ€™t help but wonder if they felt like escaping from the marquee and booking the first flight home.

Let it never be said again but YouTuber-turned-boxer Paul actually leant the only modicum of levity to an otherwise excruciating promotional exercise.

When Netflixโ€™s MC, mixed martial arts journalist Ariel Helwani, tried to put us out of our collective misery by asking the 12 undercard boxers as to who will win Fridayโ€™s main event between Paul and Tyson, nine of them picked the 58-year-old former heavyweight champion.

Paul, clearly conscious that Tysonโ€™s utter disinterest in this media obligation was, as he described it, โ€œf***ing boringโ€, sprung from his seat at the front of the stage and demanded that eight of his opponentโ€™s backers put their money where their mouths are.

Several of these interactions were, naturally, unseemly. Paul boasts a far healthier bank balance than all of his support acts. He relayed this reality especially plainly to Tysonโ€™s fellow Brownsville native, Bruce Carrington, to whom he claimed (and by God, Iโ€™m paraphrasing here) that he earns more money during a stint on the toilet bowl than the featherweight has throughout his entire 13-fight professional career.

It was cheap, childish, and far less witty than Carringtonโ€™s response which was, โ€œHow much are you willing to lose?โ€, but itโ€™s worth noting that Paulโ€™s MVP Promotions and co-organisers Netflix will combine to pay virtually every boxer involved on Friday a career-high purse.

Having seemingly made his point, Paul strode back towards his seat. It seemed for a moment that he would ignore the inevitably mortifying exchange with the ninth boxer, who in predicting a Tyson victory had said: โ€œYou can never back against a legend.โ€

Perhaps Katie Taylor was making her own point in saying as much, but Paul eventually pivoted back in the Irishwomanโ€™s direction at the top of the stage.

โ€œOh wait! Oh wait!โ€, the 27-year-old shouted, mid-swivel. Speaking for most of the room, Helwani instinctively sighed, โ€œOh no.โ€

โ€œI forgot Katie Taylor back here,โ€ said Paul. โ€œHow much do you wanna bet?โ€

Taylor, miles removed from her element, still extended her arm in the shape of a General Election candidate.

โ€œHow much do you wanna bet?โ€ she replied.

โ€œAs much as you want,โ€ said Paul. โ€œIโ€™m not losing. No shot in Hell.โ€

โ€œWellโ€, said Taylor, for whom improv would not count among her greatest strengths, โ€œDo you wanna bet your purse?โ€

Paulโ€™s mask slipped slightly during their uncomfortably long handshake. He promotes Taylorโ€™s opponent Serrano but for his many loathsome qualities, he mostly treats Taylor with the same reverence as the rest of her sport. He accepted her 40-million-dollar wager in the spirit in which it was intended.

โ€œDeal! And Iโ€™m sending out contracts, too!โ€

jake-paul-and-katie-taylor-shake-hands-on-a-bet Katie Taylor and Jake Paul make a bet. Ed Mulholland / INPHO Ed Mulholland / INPHO / INPHO

That any of this could be construed as a highlight will hopefully help to contextualise the sheer extent of the eveningโ€™s horrors.

Chief among them was the emergence from the crowd of Englandโ€™s former cruiserweight world champion Tony Bellew, who partnered with an Irish betting company to interrupt the press conference by slinging insults at Paul while an ESPN journalist attempted to ask a question of Mike Tyson from the floor.

Among the several problems Bellew faced in his efforts was that this particular company hadnโ€™t extended its investment as far as a functioning microphone. Another was that he was virtually invisible to those on the spot-lit stage, prompting the squinting Helwani to ask on multiple occasions, โ€œIs that Tony Bellew?โ€

Eventually fed up with whatever bollocksology Bellew was trying to spout, Helwani prodded: โ€œIs that Tony Bellew with an extra 50 pounds?โ€

It wasnโ€™t a great night for sports journalism, all told.

It also wasnโ€™t even a press conference โ€” they no longer exist in boxing โ€” but a pantomime.

Theyโ€™re behind you!

And poor aulโ€™ Taylor and Serrano literally were.

The stage had been laid out precisely for video footage and its two female protagonists were given stations on its highest tier, notably detached from the mess with which they have become associated. Itโ€™s difficult to believe that there can be any goodness left in the world after Wednesday night but the unrelenting optimist might suggest that Taylor and Serrano were positioned above the rest as a tip of the cap.

Mike Tyson, meanwhile, greeted each question from either Helwani or a member of the media with a shrug of his shoulders and no more than a handful of words.

He was disengaged, quiet and weird, so much so that you wondered if his taking to the ring on Friday night would be an even worse idea than it already clearly is.

Only when he responded to Bruce Carringtonโ€™s recital of his famous threat towards Lennox Lewis from the year 2000 did it become clear that Tyson was playing the role of an uncle at a stag do.

โ€œYeah, he was very eloquentโ€, Tyson said of his fellow Brooklyniteโ€™s impression, โ€œbut that day I was off my meds!โ€

Competitively speaking, there can be no winner of Tysonโ€™s fight against Jake Paul. If bookiesโ€™ favourite Paul puts a dent in โ€˜Iron Mikeโ€™, heโ€™ll be demonised for inflicting physical harm on a man pushing 60. If former heavyweight champion Tyson knocks out a YouTuber, it will still rank in the bottom percentile of his 45 stoppage victories.

If it goes to points either way, and rest assured it will, those who have found the means either to take a seat at At&T Stadium or to sufficiently suspend their disbelief from further afield will feel conned.

Tysonโ€™s participation fee of over $20 million will cushion any blow that doesnโ€™t result in actual tragedy. His money is guaranteed. He just needs to show up on the night, which seems to have been precisely his attitude towards Wednesdayโ€™s contractual duty.

It was an evening on which you might have initially questioned Tysonโ€™s sanity but you left questioning your own.

After a press conference at which nobody could get a meaningful word in arseways, Netflixโ€™s favourite question feels pertinent:

Are you still watching?

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3 Comments
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    Mute Con Cussed
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    Jan 28th 2025, 8:47 PM

    Canโ€™t really disagree with the 1 & 2, 3 could be Scotland and 4 England. Unfortunately for Wales it looks like the wooden spoon.

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    Mute Eugene O'Curry
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    Jan 28th 2025, 10:38 PM

    Wales def wooden spoon material. England and Scotland could make life uncomfortable. Just canโ€™t see past France for the title. Yeah, we will run them very close, but im not sure that our attack is sufficiently potent at the mo to go toe to toe and slug it out in the final 10 mins.

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    Mute anthony davoren
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    Jan 29th 2025, 11:58 AM

    This is a jokeโ€ฆ Clearly England favourites followed by Scotland, France, Italy, Ireland and Wales

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    Mute Knob
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    Jan 29th 2025, 3:11 AM

    Doesnโ€™t matter about Englandโ€™s near misses; they should have won those games, especially at home. For quite a while, Ireland has been doing well on overseas tours. I do expect other home nations and France to start winning at least one game on tour against the big three. Once that starts happening regularly, it will definitely give the extra push we need for tight games in the knockout stage at the World Cup.

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    Mute Seanie
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    Jan 29th 2025, 12:22 PM

    @Knob: but they didnt

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