Sanita Puspure pictured at the 2020 European Rowing Championships. Detlev Seyb/INPHO

‘I was very reluctant to take any medication at first. I was like: I'm not that bad’

Sanita Puspure on retirement and the cost of competing in an elite sporting environment.

BASED PURELY on performance, the last 10 years have been a golden age for Irish rowing.

Before 2016, Team Ireland had never won an Olympic medal in the sport. Since then, they have claimed five.

And in that period, Sanita Puspure has been one of the key figures. Her rise coincided with the unprecedented levels of success for the Irish team.

The Latvian-born Irish rower captured the nation’s hearts thanks to several remarkable achievements.

For 15 years, she represented Ireland with distinction, beginning during a fallow period for the sport on these shores. 

In contrast to the high esteem in which Irish rowing is held today, at the 2012 Olympics, she was the country’s only representative in the sport, and their first female single sculler since the 1980 Games.

Puspure went on to represent Ireland in two more Olympics. While a medal eluded her at those events, she more than made up for it at the World and European Championships, winning three medals in the former and four at the latter (including four golds in the single sculls).

But as Puspure and the team attained more success, something changed, and not for the better.

A series of recent reports in The Sunday Independent outlined the disillusionment that many athletes, including Puspure, had felt in Rowing Ireland’s high-performance unit.

Italian coach Antonio Maurogiovanni was in charge from 2017 until 2024, and during that period, athletes were allegedly subjected to verbal abuse and extreme conditions, leading to what was perceived as a “toxic” culture within the sport.

The stories have instigated an Oireachtas committee investigation set to take place early in the new year, with Rowing Ireland and Sport Ireland to appear before TDs and senators to discuss the controversy.

Speaking in the Dáil in July 2024, Deputy Brendan Griffin said athletes had been “traumatised by their experience at Rowing Ireland”.

brendan-griffin-td Morgan Treacy / INPHO Morgan Treacy / INPHO / INPHO

Despite establishing herself as one of the greatest Irish rowers in history, Puspure retired to little national fanfare and publicity last year, following the heartbreak of missing out on a place at the 2024 Paris Olympics.

“I’ve been an athlete for so many years, it was strange not to be one,” she tells The 42. “People are still asking: ‘Oh, how is the training going?’ Up to this day. I’m like: ‘There is no training anymore.’”

After retiring, she signed up for a Springboard course to do with medical devices, regulatory affairs and operations. She got the place through Galway University and Atlantic Technological University, Sligo.

After two semesters, Puspure finished last May, and she is now close to completing another Munster Technological University Lean & Six Sigma course relating to statistics.

Not long after starting that course, she secured an entry-level job at Boston Scientific, a company “dedicated to transforming lives through innovative medical solutions that improve the health of patients around the world”.

The 43-year-old has enjoyed the challenge of starting afresh, after more than a decade immersed in high-level sport.

“It was humbling at first, when you’re actually just walking into something very unknown and very different,” she says.

But it provided a much-needed distraction from the pain Puspure was feeling in the immediate aftermath of retirement.

“I found it a bit harder than I thought I would initially, because I always thought, well, I have family. I have kids to take care of and plenty of things to do outside. But it was still quite hard. The routine was very different. There was no routine, really. So you almost find yourself a little bit lost.

“Once you’re busy, and your mind is busy, driving kids around and then trying to fit exercise in somewhere, there’s not a lot of time to do everything in a day when you’re a grown-up adult, you know? So I’ve been ‘adulting’ for the last year and a half, and it’s not easy.

“Being an athlete is probably quite easy, to be honest, now that I look at it from the other side.”

sanita-puspure-becomes-emotional-after-winning-the-gold-medal Ireland's Sanita Puspure becomes emotional after winning the gold medal at the 2018 World Rowing Championships. Detlev Seyb / INPHO Detlev Seyb / INPHO / INPHO

Puspure’s trajectory was unusual. She originally rowed in her native Latvia, winning a gold medal in the double scull at the 2004 World Student Games and a bronze in the single scull competition at the 2003 World U23 Championships.

In 2006, she moved to Ireland when her husband, Kaspar, got a job at Dublin Airport, and she eventually recommenced rowing in 2009, at 27. Originally, the plan was to have fun and lose some weight after giving birth to two children. The more success she enjoyed, however, the more intense life became, and Puspure’s competitive instincts drove her to previously unimagined heights.

In those early years, Puspure and the team were undermined by a lack of resources and coaches. But post-2016 and the first Olympic Games success, she explains: “We had money, we had coaches, and we were still treated like shit. There was no excuse in the last few years to be treated like that at all. There was no accountability at all.”

Puspure continues: “I’ll be honest. Sometimes I dreamt about [retirement]. I don’t have to stress about it; there are no nerves. There’s no constant adrenaline rush about; I have to get this done, this done, this done, performance-wise.” 

Now she says she doesn’t miss competing “at all”, or the sessions in the rain and early-morning starts. But she adds, “I do miss that feeling when you just sit in the boat [after a successful race], and it just floats nicely, and you just blend in with the water.”

She still keeps in touch with some people in the sport, though other relationships have “naturally” fizzled out.

Yet there is no doubt that Puspure’s time as an elite rower was tarnished by what transpired in the latter half of her career.

Maurogiovanni lasted seven years in his role despite a letter of no confidence in him being sent to Rowing Ireland as early as 2017, and signed by Puspure, as well as Paul and Gary O’Donovan, Mark O’Donovan, Shane O’Driscoll and Denise Walsh.

paul-and-gary-odonovan-celebrate-winning-the-gold-medals Paul and Gary O'Donovan celebrate winning the gold medals at the 2018 World Championships. Detlev Seyb / INPHO Detlev Seyb / INPHO / INPHO

In response to queries from The Sunday Independent, Rowing Ireland chief executive Michelle Carpenter said that “the welfare of everyone involved in our sport is an absolute priority. This is particularly critical within the high-performance system, given the inherently intense and rigorous nature of competing at the highest level”.

She added that the organisation was committed “to fostering an environment where competitive excellence and holistic well-being are intrinsically linked, and where all concerns are addressed with the utmost seriousness.

 “We are committed to implementing and continually evolving our practices in line with international best standards, and we sincerely regret any occasion where an athlete has felt unsupported or experienced distress within our programme.”

Sport Ireland added: “When Sport Ireland heard of athletes’ concerns at Rowing Ireland, we took their concerns seriously and responded promptly. Sport Ireland raised athletes’ concerns with Rowing Ireland on multiple occasions and provided them with a range of supports to assist them in addressing these matters.

“Sport Ireland was made aware over the Tokyo and Paris Olympic cycles that some athletes were unhappy with the leadership of the Rowing Ireland high performance programme under Antonio Maurogiovanni.

“Communications took place between the senior leadership of Rowing Ireland and Sport Ireland about the concerns of the athletes, and the responsibility of Rowing Ireland to resolve them satisfactorily.”

a-view-of-a-rowing-ireland-oar A view of a Rowing Ireland oar. Detlev Seyb / INPHO Detlev Seyb / INPHO / INPHO

Puspure had a different perspective: “What disappointed me a lot was from the governance side, they were willing to brush things under the carpet instead of addressing them properly and actually improving on it, because that’s the only way you can improve. When you actually hit the problem head-on.

“‘[Maurogiovanni has] gone to a different country, so let’s just forget about it and move on.’ But no, there are reasons why those things happened. That means the governance isn’t properly working. If the things that were happening in Rowing Ireland, in that high-performance environment for the last few years, if they were happening in any other workplace, that wouldn’t be tolerated at all. Nobody would be able to talk to their employees like he was talking to athletes, and nobody would be treated in that way.”

antonio-maurogiovanni Antonio Maurogiovanni (file pic). Morgan Treacy / INPHO Morgan Treacy / INPHO / INPHO

Many of the revelations of the toxic environment within the high-performance set-up were exposed by Paul Kimmage’s two-part investigation.

Yet Puspure is not certain that the resulting fallout will lead to positive changes.

“I don’t know if they’re ready to tackle it yet, but they will have to, because they are called in front of the Oireachtas in January. So I’m hoping to make it there myself and see how it goes. But if I’m allowed, I’d love to ask a few questions as well.

“It just needs to be addressed. There needs to be more protection for athletes. You can’t go on like that. You know what the saddest thing is, actually? After all the articles and podcasts, I had messages from parents of the juniors and the 23s, thanking me for speaking out and saying that their kids had a terrible experience as well. But because they are still in the system and want to compete, they will not speak out, which made me really sad.

“I was getting a lot of messages [after the revelations emerged] saying: ‘Oh my god, we knew it was bad. But we didn’t know it was that bad.’

“Some people were treated really well and protected, but at the same time, when you’re getting paid a lot of money as a coach, you basically need to learn to treat everyone the same. And if you do have favourites, try to hide [who they are].”

Puspure says she had not received an apology from Rowing Ireland for her negative experiences, and there has been “radio silence” since her retirement.

“It’s like I’ve been removed from the earth. I’ve had no communication from anyone,” she adds.

The disappointment of ending on a low point and being ostensibly forgotten about left Puspure living under a “cloud of sadness”.

Simultaneously, the best and worst aspects of rowing for Puspure were the impact on her family. Kaspar and her two children, Patrick and Daniela (who is now a talented rower in her own right), could share in the highs, but the lows hit them just as hard.

“When Tokyo happened, it definitely impacted them as well, because I was absolutely heartbroken. And what broke my heart was my daughter. I called them after the race, and she was like: ‘Can Mom just come home, like, now?’ And I asked them to put me on the flight the next day.”

sanita-puspure Puspure was Ireland's only rower competing at the 2012 Olympics.

Puspure also took her disappointments back to Cork with her, which was another challenge for the family.

“I’m not going to hide it. I did have depression after, and they came home [from school], and they’re like: ‘Oh, what’s for dinner?’ It’s like: ‘I don’t know, nothing.’ It’s the small things like that. I’m not getting groceries or doing any food shopping during the day, when they’re in school, just because you have no mental energy to do anything; they’ve definitely had that. And even when they were smaller, if I’m tired and I want to sleep and they’re messing around, you know, sometimes you get cross and tell them to be quiet. I wish I had never done that. But when you’re in the moment, and you’re exhausted, it just happens.”

Puspure says there were two periods where the lack of energy and feelings of depression were especially palpable.

Initially, she dealt with it by gardening and engaging in manual work, which she found therapeutic.

“And the second time, unfortunately, I had to go on antidepressants to get out of it, because it was way worse than before.”

sanita-puspure-after-finishing-fifth Ireland’s Sanita Puspure after finishing fifth in the Olympic qualifiers last year. Detlev Seyb / INPHO Detlev Seyb / INPHO / INPHO

It was around the time Puspure’s career was coming to an end.

“I wish I’d understood it earlier, because maybe it would have had a different outcome,” she says.

“When I saw that talking every day to your psychologist doesn’t work, [I felt] something’s off, something’s wrong. So you need to seek something a little bit more.

“I was very reluctant to take any medication at first. I was like: ‘No, I’m not that bad. I don’t want to do anything bad to myself. So surely I’m fine.’ But no, you’re not fine. And the first step for that was just like: ‘Okay, maybe I do need more help.’

“And ever since then, after about four weeks, I saw a massive improvement in my mood — energy and motivation came back, and you almost feel a relief. ‘Oh my God, it wasn’t just me being unmotivated. It wasn’t just me being lazy. I actually had a problem.’

“You know how athletes like to be really tough and don’t like to admit that they have any issues? So that was probably the first step to overcome.

“You can’t fix it by pretending that everything’s fine. You actually need medication to fix it, and you will be fine. And it’s hard to understand that — how the mind can actually impact you so much, that you’re not well.

“And I don’t know whether the life that we’re living, the pace of the life is so fast, you know, and demands are so high always, and everything probably just creeps up on people, and then you just feel overwhelmed, and you don’t really know how to cope with it anymore. I do see it, not just in me, I’ve seen it a lot.”

irelands-sanita-puspure-competes-in-the-womens-single-sculls-quarterfinals-at-the-lagoa-stadium-on-the-fourth-day-of-the-rio-olympic-games-brazil Puspure pictured competing at the 2016 Olympics. Alamy Stock Photo Alamy Stock Photo

Puspure agrees when it is put to her that mental issues need to be perceived and treated similarly to physical injuries.

“If you injure your back, you will give it attention, you will do the rehab. You take medication if you have to. So why not the mind? It’s the same. You exercise your mind every day as you exercise your body by making it, let’s say, you wake up, and you don’t want to do anything. It is a mental effort to do that session, and you can’t just do it to get it done; you do it to the best of your ability. 

“So you do push your mind as equally as you push your body. So it does sometimes take a toll. And some studies have shown that overtraining is linked directly with mental health issues as well. I definitely had burnout before Tokyo. So, [I'm] trying to connect the dots there and see that probably did contribute towards [the depression] as well.”

Puspure continues: “I actually think high-performance sport is damaging at the moment. And that’s what I’m trying to push now, for Sport Ireland and Rowing Ireland, the change. So it could be a little bit less damaging. Athletes need to be respected the same as you respect your co-workers, and they need to be treated the same way.

“They need the same rights as well. If you look at the athlete agreement, it’s the athlete who must comply with everything. The governing body does [concede] a few points, but not too many. Like it’s a mutual agreement, it should be mutually beneficial — neither of them can exist without the other, so I feel like there needs to be a little bit more done in that regard.

“In the current moment, I’m feeling a little bit down because of all the things that are happening around [Irish rowing], and I wish it were resolved. I wish that those who are trying to deny [there are problems] would understand that it’s not just about the medals and winning championships every year. It’s about people who are around you. It’s like trying not to walk over other people’s bodies to achieve success. Everybody has a place in sport, and everybody deserves equal opportunities.

“But in general, I’m feeling good, I’m quite happy at work, and getting on really well with my colleagues, and have great fun, sometimes too much fun. I love weekends. I love Fridays because I know there’s nothing on Saturday and Sunday. It’s amazing. The weekends actually do exist. I love bank holidays now because they’re off, and I never had them off before. So [there are] great perks of being a normal person.”

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