DAVE KITSON HAS confirmed that he is the ‘Secret Footballer’.
Kitson, 46, was a forward with Reading, Stoke City and Portsmouth among other clubs during a professional career that spanned 2001-2014.
He has long been suspected as the writer behind the books and Guardian newspaper column that ran for five years from 2011.
Kitson has spoken in a YouTube interview about his motivations for writing the column, and how the tragic death of Gary Speed changed how he felt about the column and football.
“I am The Secret Footballer. I’ve never said that out loud before,” Kitson said. “It was an idea that came to me when I wasn’t happy with where football was going and I needed an outlet to express it for my own mental health.
“I never set out to be a footballer. It was one of those things that just happened. I wanted to be a travel writer. I wanted to get around the world and have someone pay me to do it. So, I fell into football.”
Kitson said writing the column was “cathartic” and helped him to “process” his life in the footballer industry.
Advertisement
“I would write and leave people to form their own opinions,” he said. “It was fun for a while, then it bred huge anxiety. I had a career and a big contract. If I’d been outed, I would have been sacked and ostracised. Now everyone has a podcast and an outlet. Back then, it was genuinely new.
“It changed football in this country and led to overhauls at the highest levels, which I’m proud of. But the stress and anxiety were immense.”
Kitson added: “The worst thing that happened was when I wrote a column about mental health called Sometimes There’s Darkness Behind the Light.
“Nobody talked about mental health in football then. If you spoke about it, you were seen as weak. I said there was a mental health epidemic and I predicted it was only a matter of time before someone took their own life.
“I submitted it on Friday. It went out Saturday. On Sunday, Gary Speed was found dead. That’s when the Secret Footballer stopped being fun.
“It gave the column credibility in the worst possible way. I struggled with guilt for a long time that I hadn’t written it earlier. I became angry at the authorities for being passive.
“Things have improved since, but that tragedy was horrendous.
“I felt such sympathy for his family, it was so unnecessary.”
If you need to talk, contact:
Pieta House 1800 247 247 or email mary@pieta.ie Samaritans 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org Aware 1800 80 48 48 Teen-Line Ireland 1800 833 634 (for ages 13 to 19) Childline 1800 66 66 66 (for under 18s)
To embed this post, copy the code below on your site
Close
Comments
This is YOUR comments community. Stay civil, stay constructive, stay on topic.
Please familiarise yourself with our comments policy
here
before taking part.
Dave Kitson finally confirms one of football's worst-kept secrets: 'I am the Secret Footballer'
DAVE KITSON HAS confirmed that he is the ‘Secret Footballer’.
Kitson, 46, was a forward with Reading, Stoke City and Portsmouth among other clubs during a professional career that spanned 2001-2014.
He has long been suspected as the writer behind the books and Guardian newspaper column that ran for five years from 2011.
Kitson has spoken in a YouTube interview about his motivations for writing the column, and how the tragic death of Gary Speed changed how he felt about the column and football.
“I am The Secret Footballer. I’ve never said that out loud before,” Kitson said. “It was an idea that came to me when I wasn’t happy with where football was going and I needed an outlet to express it for my own mental health.
“I never set out to be a footballer. It was one of those things that just happened. I wanted to be a travel writer. I wanted to get around the world and have someone pay me to do it. So, I fell into football.”
Kitson said writing the column was “cathartic” and helped him to “process” his life in the footballer industry.
“I would write and leave people to form their own opinions,” he said. “It was fun for a while, then it bred huge anxiety. I had a career and a big contract. If I’d been outed, I would have been sacked and ostracised. Now everyone has a podcast and an outlet. Back then, it was genuinely new.
“It changed football in this country and led to overhauls at the highest levels, which I’m proud of. But the stress and anxiety were immense.”
Kitson added: “The worst thing that happened was when I wrote a column about mental health called Sometimes There’s Darkness Behind the Light.
“Nobody talked about mental health in football then. If you spoke about it, you were seen as weak. I said there was a mental health epidemic and I predicted it was only a matter of time before someone took their own life.
“I submitted it on Friday. It went out Saturday. On Sunday, Gary Speed was found dead. That’s when the Secret Footballer stopped being fun.
“It gave the column credibility in the worst possible way. I struggled with guilt for a long time that I hadn’t written it earlier. I became angry at the authorities for being passive.
“Things have improved since, but that tragedy was horrendous.
“I felt such sympathy for his family, it was so unnecessary.”
If you need to talk, contact:
Pieta House 1800 247 247 or email mary@pieta.ie
Samaritans 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
Aware 1800 80 48 48
Teen-Line Ireland 1800 833 634 (for ages 13 to 19)
Childline 1800 66 66 66 (for under 18s)
To embed this post, copy the code below on your site
Dave Kitson I am The Secret Footballer revealed Soccer