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Dublin: 6 °C Tuesday 15 October, 2019
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Golden boy Lineker: ‘I pooed on the pitch against Ireland’

First losing 2018 to Russia, now a second World Cup shocker grips England: the famously mild-mannered star crapped mid-match.

He's not England's footballing Messiah - he's a very naughty boy.
He's not England's footballing Messiah - he's a very naughty boy.

HE’S AS WELL KNOWN for the fact that he was never booked in his professional career, for the very (very!) visible cleavage of his new second wife, and for being the face of pretty much the only non-Irish brand of crisps sold anywhere in the world, as for being a former footballer.

But before becoming the face of Match of the Day, jug-eared golfing fan Gary Lineker was quite a good striker – and in his 80 games for the England team, scored 48 goals (just one off Bobby Charlton’s record of 49) including 10 in World Cups in 1986 and 1990.

One of those 10 goals came against the Republic of Ireland, when the Boys in Green kicked off their Italia 90 campaign on June 11 in Cagliari against their fiercest rivals. The then-Spurs forward scored in the 8th minute to give the old imperial masters an early lead.

But Lineker has a dirty secret about his performance in that match. A particularly dirty secret indeed: some way through the second half, complaining of a dippy tummy after a half-time snack, Lineker “relaxed myself, and… erm…”

Well, let’s stop pulling punches: Gary Lineker did a poo in the middle of the pitch, and then rolled around the place trying to smudge the stain away.


“Unless you know, you wouldn’t know,” the Guardian quotes Lineker as saying, “but when you know, you do know.

“I was very fortunate it rained that night… it was messy.”

The video seems to prove the story – not only did Lineker collapse to the ground, trying to hide his unscheduled pitstop, but about 30 seconds later the Number 10 falls to the ground again, trying again to smear any remaining Number 2.

Hardly any wonder that, with their most potent attacking force otherwise occupied, Ireland were able to equalise through Kevin Sheedy 12 minutes from time and grab a memorable 1-1 draw that gave them a good start on the road to the quarter-finals.

We know one thing for sure, though – we’ll never think of Walkers Crisps in the same way again.

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About the author:

Gavan Reilly

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