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Dublin: 16 °C Sunday 25 August, 2019
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The desperate fan’s 11-step guide to landing an All-Ireland final ticket

Text everyone in your phonebook and share every competition post on Facebook. Then read this.

image Source: Pic credit: Terry Reilly, via Joe.ie

IT’S ALL-IRELAND final week, you’re looking for a ticket and about now you’re starting to get a little bit panicky, right?

Never fear, we got your back.

1. Send out the feelers to friends and relatives

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Especially friends from college in other counties, that couple you met on holiday from the North and the bride’s brother from that last stag you were on in Galway.

2. Make a rare appearance up at the club

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3. Whatsapp a former girlfrend who’s dad was county secretary years ago

Hey! great ice bucket challenge video. Hope you’re well. Sorry about those phone calls. Any tickets going?

4. Barter any livestock you have available

Like this gentleman on DoneDeal.

It’s around the time now to start swapping animals for tickets. One ‘strong mouth black ewe’ is surely worth a spot on the Hill this Sunday?

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Pic: DoneDeal

5. Go with your heart

Don’t be afraid to take risks; this Mayo supporter just wants the girl of his dreams — a woman with an All-Ireland final ticket.

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6. Again, livestock is important

If there’s any way you can use images of cattle in the county colours or other such gimmicks, all the better. This Mayo fan has gone for a picture of his hens and a pun-heavy sign too which is important:

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7. Ring your local TD

There’s one or two in Tipp who are into the hurling.

8. Make a YouTube video explaining why the universe owes you a ticket

It gets the people going!

Source: Eannai O Sullivan/YouTube

9. Trade your sister and/or brother

All’s fair in love and getting into Croke Park this weekend apparently…

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10. Have you got any friends who’ll bring you along?

Niamh Shanley and Robert Savage Niamh Shanley from Clonmel and Robert Savage from Goresbridge . Source: Cathal Noonan

11. Stand outside Quinn’s or the Big Tree with a ball of cash

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Don’t overthink it. You don’t have a friend in the world at this stage. the only thing that’s going to get you through that turnstile at 3pm is pure economics.

Kilkenny fans celebrate on Hill 16 after the game Source: James Crombie/INPHO

What are your tips for getting an All-Ireland ticket this week?

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