MUNSTER AND IRELAND player Keith Earls has revealed his bipolar diagnosis and mental health challenges, ahead of the release of his autobiography at the end of this month.
Earls was speaking on The Late Late Show last night and discussed his new book, ‘Fight Or Flight: My Life, My Choices.’
The 34-year-old spoke about the panic attack he suffered as a child following the death of his cousin.
“I got a bad fright when it did happen, and I was still in my primary uniform. You know I suppose, what kicked it off, was I had a cousin that died in a car accident. You know I found that tough because he was only 19, so he was young and that was my first time I come across death or even I suppose talked about death.
“You know I was sitting at home on the couch and my parents were at work and I remember thinking ‘I wasn’t going to see my cousin ever again’ and then it just went downhill from there I was thinking about when I die, I will never see my parents. I was shaking, I was trembling and you then yeah, the panic attack started, I didn’t know what it was. I genuinely, genuinely thought I was going to die. I was genuinely frightened for my life. I came around after a few minutes. I kept it all quiet, didn’t really speak about.
“I suppose the fact I didn’t know what it was, I was a small bit embarrassed, maybe. You know and then I have had a couple of them out through my career as well know and it did take me a long time to talk about stuff. You know it was never mentioned in my house, never mind you know the country or Limerick you know it wasn’t a thing that was spoken about back then.”
"Thankfully the last couple of years I've got a great hold on it"@KeithEarls87 shares his story of being diagnosed with Bipolar 2, the negative voice in his head he calls 'Hank', and how he reached out and asked for help.#LateLate pic.twitter.com/2E4VcAW9Lr
— The Late Late Show (@RTELateLateShow) October 15, 2021
Eight years ago, Earls sought help.
“So now, I was in camp 2013, I am in Irish camp, Joe Schmidt is just taking over the Irish team. I should be on Cloud 9 and obviously my daughter, Ella Maye, my first girl was born in 2012 and she was born with a respiratory condition, and you know my emotions were everywhere. You know, my paranoia was through the roof. My negative thinking, it was shocking, and you know I was so sick of it. It was absolutely draining me.
“So, here I am in Carton House, in Irish camp and I just decided I need to do something about this. So, I rang the doctor…I explained everything to him, he was brilliant. I went down to see a guy in Cork, a psychiatrist and diagnosed me with Bipolar 2. You know there is obviously Bipolar 1 as well, but Bipolar 2 is probably the better out of the two to get. I was delighted to get the diagnosis; I was genuinely losing my mind.
“It started off as a funny joke and it probably is funny to people. But you know that is the other voice in my head. You know, I have put a name to him, and I got the name from the film ‘Me, Myself, and Irene’ and am, Jim Carrey’s character has a split personality, but I suppose my Hank isn’t as mad as his Hank. But my Hank is there in my head, and you know he is the other side. He is the, I suppose, the depression and the negative thoughts, you know, that has been living in my head since that day, since, I suppose, 12 years of age…
“He [Hank] just doesn’t want me to be happy. You know he makes me quite negative. You know he makes me do a lot of things I don’t want to do… Thankfully, I have never had suicidal thoughts. Oh, Hank is always there, he is always, he is always negative, and you know he is a fella that I have lived with for most of life now.
“I have went through games where he has got the better of me, but you know I just didn’t want him to beat me. There were games that I shouldn’t have played in, I was in just such a bad place mentally. But I still whatever way, I found a way to get out on the pitch and I suppose try and take Hank on.”
