A MORE DESPONDENT person (read: Spurs fan) might look at the task facing Tottenham Hotspur this evening and decide that there is absolutely no reason for optimism.
After all, Harry Redknapp’s men were so comprehensively outplayed by Real Madrid at the Santiago Bernabeu last Tuesday that they were almost fortunate to escape with a 4-0 defeat.
We, on the other hand, are shiny happy people full of optimism – real “glass half full” people, you know the type.
So, rather than throw in the towel, we’ve racked our brains and come up with a list of six things that Spurs might consider doing if they’d like to beat Jose and the lads later on tonight.
1. Don’t play Gareth Bale on the right (again)
Only a “master tactician” like Harry Redknapp would do something as ridiculous as start his dominant attacking threat in the wrong position and expect to get away with it.
Ok, so the last minute wussing-out of Aaron Lennon didn’t really help matters last week, but I’m betting that Sergio Ramos didn’t get a lot of sleep before the first leg such was his anxiety about facing the Welsh winger.
On occasion, Bale has been world-class this season. Just ask the man who has justifiable claims to be the best right-full in the world, Inter Milan’s Maicon.
The Brazilian had a torrid time when the sides met at the San Siro, with Bale running riot and scoring a hat-trick. If he can reproduce a fraction of that form tonight, then he should be good for a goal or two.
2. Think of Young Boys
Swiss football team BSC Young Boys, that is.
Spurs have already found themselves in a similar(ish) position in this year’s Champions League, finding themselves 3-0 down after just 28 minutes of their playoff first-leg in Bern back in August.
Yes, of course the standard of opposition is much higher tonight. And the deficit is smaller. And the time which Spurs have to save the day is infinitely shorter.
But if it could happen once this season, what’s to stop it from happening again?
3. Target C-Ron
Spurs’ task could be made slightly easier this evening depending on which Cristiano Ronaldo shows up.
If it is the £80m man capable of transforming a game by himself with a stroke of genius, then Spurs can give up and go home before a ball is kicked.
However, Ronaldo is very much the type of player who can be put off his game by a couple of robust challenges. Some skillful players respond to a kicking by redoubling their desire to tear you to shreds, others sit on the ground and sulk – no prizes for guessing which category the Portuguese star falls into.
One or two meaty encounters like this would not go amiss.
4. Do a Barcelona
As this Spurs fan site reminded fellow fans, Barca beat Madrid 5-0 earlier this season and they “were only a Bendtner sidefoot away from going out of the competition themselves so are no great shakes either if you think about it.”
I think that comment is genuine but my sarcasm detector has been acting up slightly in recent days.
5. Sign Andrea Dossena
The former Liverpool cult hero may not have been a footballing superstar but he is the last person to score for a Premier League side against Real Madrid, completing the 4-0 second-leg rout when the sides met in the last 16 in 2009.
Myself and Andy aren’t on speaking terms since his departure, but I’m sure he’d be willing to circumvent any legal obstacles to such a speedy transfer in return for a couple of pizzas. If any Spurs bosses are reading this, I hear he likes a ham and pineapple.
6. Serve Madrid some of that fine North London lasagne
Who says that lightning can’t strike twice?
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