Different Class

Five things we learned this weekend ...

We spend the weekend on the couch so you don’t have to.

1. It’s tough to find good quality goal nets in South America

Either that or Chelsea’s newest signing, Brazilian starlet Lucas Piazon, has an incredibly powerful shot. The 17-year-old is currently wowing everybody at the U17 Copa Sudamericana where he unleashed this blaster during Saturday’s game against Paraguay.

Fair play to the ref for spotting that Piazon’s shot actually went in. What I want to know is how they fixed the net …

2. Bakkies Botha is the Paul Scholes of rugby union

When it comes to compiling this column on a Monday, it seems that there’s always some piece of dangerous play involving Bakkies Botha to be included.

This week, the South African lock wasn’t happy with just clearing Stormers scrumhalf Dewaldt Duvenage out of the ruck. Nope, he had to follow all the way through and drive him down into the turf.

“Wee Bakkies, he cannae tackle, ya know …”

3. Professional athletes haven’t quite mastered the art of standing

At least college basketball star Tim Hardaway Jr. has some sort of excuse – I think I’d fall over if someone pulled that kind of crossover on me.

Celtic star Paddy McCourt isn’t getting off so lightly however. Is it expecting too much of professional footballers to ask them not to trip over the ball?

McCourt’s one saving grace was that Rangers didn’t score from the subsequent breakaway. Now that would have been embarassing.

4. Steve Thompson can get a little bit frisky after a few drinks

The English hooker was painting Dublin red on Saturday evening after his side clinched the Six Nations Championship by losing to Ireland.

It seems he took a shine to Rory McIlroy who had joined the lads for a few social beverages. The next day, McIlroy tweeted former England captain Matt Dawson to say that Thompson had given him a hickey.

Like a true professional, Dawson responded by providing the appropriate documentary evidence. Viewer discretion most definitely advised.

5. Liam Gallagher doesn’t like Jose Mourinho

NME report that the former Oasis front-man was gigging with his new band, Beady Eye, when he took a pop at Jose Mourinho.

Liam Gallagher’s in the papers once more today – now for having a dig at Real Madrid coach Jose Mourinho during a Beady Eye gig in the Spanish capital.

The band are currently in the middle of their first European tour, with the singer getting the crowd gee-ed up on Friday at the show.

According to The Sun he told the crowd: “There’s only one boss in this town, and if Jose’s here I’ll have him.

Jose will undoubtedly be delighted to be included on the elite list of people that Gallagher doesn’t like. At last time of counting, that list included … emmm … everybody.