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Some punters at last year's festival. Dan Sheridan/INPHO
bluffer's guide

The complete chancer's guide to getting through the Cheltenham Festival

If you don’t know one end of a horse from the other, we’re here to help.

OVER THE NEXT week, talk of Cheltenham will be almost impossible to avoid.

That’s well and good if you’re mad about horse racing but what if you’re more likely to stick a pin in a newspaper or if you just want to make small talk at work while you’re waiting for your porridge in the microwave?

We’re here to help, so here are the basics you’ll need to bluff your way through any awkward moments. And if all else fails, just mumble something about “being off the bridle” and make a hasty exit

Horse Racing - 2015 Cheltenham Festival - St Patrick's Day - Cheltenham Racecourse A pint and the form guide, your essential Cheltenham survival kit. David Davies / PA Archive/Press Association Images David Davies / PA Archive/Press Association Images / PA Archive/Press Association Images

It’s only horse racing. What’s so special about it?

Yes, yes, yes. It’s only horse racing but it’s the biggest and best horse racing of the year. The four-day Cheltenham Festival (Tuesday – Friday) is the highlight of the National Hunt calendar which means you’re pretty much guaranteed to see almost all of the best horses in action.

For owners and trainers, it’s the meeting they’ve been preparing for all year. For fans, especially the thousands of Irish ones who travel over, it’s as good as it gets.

Horse Racing - 2015 Cheltenham Festival - St Patrick's Day - Cheltenham Racecourse The Irish have plenty to cheer for this week. Mike Egerton / EMPICS Sport Mike Egerton / EMPICS Sport / EMPICS Sport

Sounds good. How many races are there?

There are 28 in total, seven each day. Racing starts at 1.30pm each day and the races are usually scheduled at 35-minute intervals, meaning that the final race starts at about 5.30pm.

 I’m not watching 28 races. When are the important ones on?

If you’re too busy to watch the lot — and let’s face it, most people are — you’ll want to focus your attention on the festival’s four feature races:

  • The Champion Hurdle (Tuesday)
  • The Queen Mother Champion Chase (Wednesday)
  • The World Hurdle (Thursday)
  • The Cheltenham Gold Cup (Friday).

These start at 3.30pm each day, so you may want to tailor your lunch breaks accordingly.

Horse Racing - 2015 Cheltenham Festival - Gold Cup Day - Cheltenham Racecourse Coneygree was the surprise winner of the Gold Cup last year. David Davies David Davies

I haven’t the first clue about the horses. Who are the ones to look out for?

There are lots of theories as to what makes a sure thing but the reality is — one or two exceptions aside — there’s very rarely a sure thing in National Hunt racing.

Despite missing the likes of Faugheen and Arctic Fire; there are still plenty of good horses to look out for. On Tuesday everybody is going to be talking about whether or not Annie Power can do the job against the geldings in the Champion Hurdle.

Sprinter Sacre missed last year’s festival but he’ll have his work cut out to beat heavy favourite Un De Sceaux in the Queen Mother Champion Chase on Wednesday.

The main event on Thursday, the Ryanair World Hurdle, looks set to feature Thistlecrack and Alpha Des Obeaux in a mouth-watering head-to-head while, on Friday, everyone will be talking about the Gold Cup.

Despite his extraordinary record at Prestbury Park, Willie Mullins has never won the festival’s blue riband event and would especially love to do so this year on the 30th anniversary of his father winning the with Dawn Run. With Vautour, Don Poli and Djakadam, he’s every chance in 2016. However, Don Cossack is the race favourite.

I think I’ll just look for whoever Ruby Walsh is riding. Will that work?

It’s not a bad tactic. Ruby loves Cheltenham and Cheltenham loves Ruby — look out for the annual “Ruby Tuesday” headlines if he has a handful of winners on the opening day. If he has another good week, it will be the ninth time in 11 years Walsh will finish the festival as top jockey.

Show some love for the other Irish jockeys as well, particularly Barry Geraghty and Bryan Cooper, both of whom have some great chances this week.

Give me five stats I can use to impress people…

  • 13 – The number of winners Ireland had at last year’s festival.
  • €5.1 million - The record amount of prize money on offer over the four days.
  • 63,249 - The record number of attendees on day one last year.
  • €3.2 million – The amount gambled on the Cheltenham festival last year.
  • 250,000 – The expected number of pints of Guinness consumed at last year’s festival.

Walsh, Geraghty, Cooper – who’s the favourite in the race to be Cheltenham champion jockey?

6 foolproof excuses to use when your 50/1 shot fails to win at Cheltenham

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