1. “He hated the ground”
LIKE ALL THE excuses below, there are times this one will be appropriate. It’s also massively overused. Some horses love soft ground but others prefer galloping along on a surface as hard as the car park beside the track.
It is, however, one of the easiest excuses to trot out after your 66/1 shot unsurprisingly trailed home last.
2. “He was crying out for a longer trip”
Horses can’t cry out. They can’t even speak. However, don’t let that put you off this handy excuse as there’s really no way someone can disprove it unless the horse has actually competed over a longer distance and still lost.
3. “Ah, she was off the bridle”
Most people who use this phrase haven’t a clue what it means — the horse had to be worked quite hard to compete — but you’ll sound like you know what you’re talking about at the water-cooler your colleagues conversations inevitably turns to Cheltenham.
4. “He was far too keen”
The exact opposite of the excuse above. If your horse makes all the running at the start and then fades away towards the business end of the race, this is the one for you.
5. “The weight beat him”
A horse weighs what, half a tonne give or take? Could a weight penalty of a couple of pounds really influence it that much? That shouldn’t stop you from using this excuse though as jockeys and trainers use it all the time.
6. ”She had to make all the running”
Did your five horse, 150/1 accumulator fall at the final hurdle when the fifth horse lost out on the line? Just blame it on the fact she had to set her own pace as none of the other contenders would take up the running. Easy.
What have we missed? Which excuses will you be trotting out next week when your horse loses? Let us know in the comments below.
