HEADING OFF ON holidays in, erm, half an hour and you haven’t been to the gym in two weeks? Come on in.

It’s never too late to make some last-gasp changes to your body shape, so if you’re afraid of being shown up poolside, try these 10 simple and gruelling exercises. Don’t be afraid of looking like a twat.

We can’t promise you’ll have a body like Bale, but you’ll shed fat faster than you’ll sink that first drink.

The key to these exercises is to perform them to failure, that is, until you cannot do one more.

Let’s go. The way the session is broken down is five supersets of two exercises. So for example, the first superset involves the plyometric push-up immediately followed by an isometric push-up, which is, a normal push-up. With no rest in between.

• 1A - Start on the floor in the push-up position, supporting your weight on your hands and toes and keeping your back straight. Bend your elbows to lower your chest towards the ground, hold for one second before pushing up hard and fast so your hands completely leave the floor. We suggest doing this 15 times.
• 1B – Go straight into a normal push-up, which is easier and less taxing, but after 15 ‘plyo’ push-ups you’ll start to hurt very quickly. Hurt is good. Get back into the push-up position, now bend your elbows again to lower the chest. This time, hold for 10 seconds in the lowered position. Again, try this 15 times. This completes the first superset. Four more to go.
• 2A – This is a tricep dip where you sit at the edge of your seat in departures. Position your hands shoulder-width apart and slide your arse off the front of the bench with your legs extended out in front of you. Slowly bend your elbows to lower your body toward the floor until your elbows are at about a 90-degree angle. Be sure to keep your back close to the bench. Once you reach the bottom of the movement, press down into the bench to straighten your elbows, returning to the starting position. This completes one rep. Do 25 of these for starters. To make it harder, put the Lonely Planet on your lap. This increases the weight you have to lift, especially if it’s Australia you’re going to.
• 2B – Back into the favourite push-up position but instead of extending your arms out, interlock your thumbs and lower your chest onto the back of your hands. 25 of these and that will complete the arms workout. Told you it was easy. Remember there is NO rest between these (2A and 2B).

PA Archive / Press Association Images PA Archive / Press Association Images / Press Association Images

(Henry Cooper, the British and European heavyweight champion, gets in a little extra exercise as he pushes Victor Andretti along on the luggage trolley in Heathrow Airport ahead of Cooper’s 1969 European title fight)

• 3A – The burpee. Okay, we lied; there are actually only nine exercises but this one is probably the hardest of the lot as it incorporates so many major muscle groups. Begin in a squat position with your hands on the floor, slightly wider than shoulder-width apart and kick your feet back to the starting push-up position. Immediately tuck your feet into a squat and jump as high as you can. Drop straight back down into the next rep. 30 of these will have you gasping for breath.
• 4A – Core time. Pull out a beach towel to save your back from the harder departure lounge floor to give you some morsel of comfort. This is a classic exercise — the V sit-up. Lie flat, arms behind your head. Flex your hips and squeeze your abs to bring your hands and feet together. Then lower, slowly, back to the starting position. If you’re struggling, bend your knees and perform crunches instead.
• 4B – With no rest go straight into the ‘bicycle crunch’. Lie face up on your mat and place your hands behind your head, lightly supporting it with your fingers. Then bring the knees into the chest and lift the shoulder blades off the floor without pulling on the neck. Rotate to the left, slowly bringing the right elbow towards the left knee as you straighten the other leg. Switch sides, bringing the left elbow towards the right knee. Continue ‘pedalling’ for 30 seconds.
• 5A – Planks. We all love planks because they’re easy to measure progress in and just easy to do. But we’re going to make them harder by, instead of resting on your elbows and keeping your body straight, we’re going to rise up and rest on the palms of the hands and hold that for one minute. Two minutes if you can. Three minutes if you think you can. And four minutes if you think you can’t. The key is to keep the back straight.
• 5B – Plank, push-up, plank push-up. Very simple again. Start in the original push-up position from (1B). Then alternate by doing a push-up, followed by a 10-second plank, followed by a push-up followed by a 10-second plank. Again, there are no rest periods between 5A and 5B.

And hey presto. That should all take around 30 minutes and can all be done in even the most crowded airports.

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