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TV Review

Screened: a weekend on the couch

Paul Ring spends the day on the couch as history is made in Paris and it repeats itself in Croker.

EASY LIKE SUNDAY morning is how the song goes. Ain’t it true.

Whether the dancing shoes have been worn the previous night or too much popcorn was consumed, Sunday is a day for the sofa and for sports.

We start in Paris and more specifically Roland Garros. The choice was BBC 1 or Eurosport. I plumped for Eurosport due to Greg Rusedski’s lingustic skills. As Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal emerged into the brilliant sun of centre-court they gave a quick interview.

Rafa in Spanish, Roger in French and the amazing Greg helpfully translated. He may have been winging it however as each player seemed to say the same thing. Maybe TG4 can hire the amazing Greg next year, or is as Gaelige a step too far?

The brief interludes between games allowed me to snatch some of Kildare and Meath. Marty Morrissey spoke of controversial goals being disallowed and how you have only beaten Meath once you are on the bus home. A quick hop back to Roland Garros saw Federer dispute a ball being called out while Rafa was humming the wheels on the bus go round.

Nadal must have realised I was channel-hopping because he spent an enormous amount of time fixing his shorts. A Rafa service game allowed me a good thirty seconds of Brolly and Spillane. Pat was furious with the sending-off of Brian Farrell saying it was merely a swing-back from a wing-back and then a little slap. Pat can rap, it seems.

The two then dissected the disallowed goal. It was the ghost of last year’s Leinster final according to Spillane while the issue then took a philosophical turn  that might have bested Aristotle. Was it justice asked Pat? Joe answered; Karma Pat, it was Karma.

The rain started pelting down in France just as Dublin and Laois were starting. Nadal looked peeved at having to delay his coronation as he was led from the court with one of the ball girls helpfully covering him with an umbrella. The TV3 commentator described conditions at GAA HQ as damp and murky but alas, no-one was covering Pat Gilroy as he patrolled the sideline.

Dublin cruised into a comfortable lead but easily lost out in the viewing game as Nadal and Federer continued their duel after the rain stopped. Rafa was leading two sets to nothing yet the points won in total had only a difference of four. Federer rallied to take the third set 7-5 as the match entered its third hour.  How much of that was taken up by Nadal fixing his shorts, hair, bouncing the ball or turning his water bottle is unclear.

Even Federer was starting to sweat as the match went to its fourth set. Though as the Eurosport commentator explained; Federer doesn’t sweat, he perspires. The fourth had none of the previous three’s drama as Nadal served out a comfortable 6-1 win to take his record sixth French Open title. Vamos.

TV break

There was a brief lull in the viewing options after and the dog’s hopes were raised of a possible walk before a trip to ESPN and the Cleveland Indians V Texas Rangers. Baseball is a wonderfully lazy game to watch as the pace ambles and then flies. Rafa Nadal would certainly be at home at the plate. Though heaven knows how long he would take if it was an entire pants he had to deal with instead of shorts.

The brilliantly-named Mitch Moreland opened up with a homerun that flew straight into the bullpen. This after we were introduced to the Cleveland defence by the Home Depot defence report. Maybe RTÉ could adopt this to bring in some much needed revenue, the Dairygold half-back line?

The game breezed away to a 2-0 win for Texas and Sport was shelved for a couple of hours as nourishment and daylight entered, A Monday morning Lebronathon awaited.  The build up to game three of the NBA finals between Miami and Dallas was suitably large. Dallas had Uncle Mo’ according to ESPN. Momentum baby.

LeBron was miked up, he spoke of playing desperate and how each member of the Heat should be exhausted after. I can’t imagine Graham Canty agreeing to be miked up. Nor would his speech be expletive free.

The stars and stripes was belted out with its usual gusto. They also managed to get to the end without someone shouting G’wan Wade ya legend! Minute cultural differences.

The game was a belter with Miami getting the upper hand in the first half-leading by fourteen points at one stage before Dallas began to inch their way back into it, tying it in the third.
4.4 seconds left. Miami 88 Dallas 86. One last desperate lunge from the Dirk Nowitzki to tie the game. It fell short.

Tell me why, I don’t like Mondays.