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Steve Howey (centre) of Manchester City beats Manchester United goalkeeper Fabien Barthez.
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Telling your country to f*** off, the NFL's kicking problem and the week's best sportswriting

It’s just you, us, and the kettle.

1. As Steve Howey drove home from Durham to Sunderland, up the A690 past the Ramside Hall Hotel, his head was still buzzing with the banter and black humour of Newcastle United’s training ground. It explains his reaction when his mobile shrilled and he pulled over to take it and a voice on the other end of the line said it was Terry Venables. “I told him to fuck off and put it down,” Howey says.

soccer-fa-barclaycard-premiership-manchester-city-v-chelsea Steve Howie of Manchester City. EMPICS Sport EMPICS Sport

When your country comes calling, the traditional answer is not fuck off.

“It rang again,” Howey says. “Same thing. I said, ‘Na, you’re not getting anywhere with this – you can fuck off’. And I put it down again. I was sure it was the lads winding me up. And then a minute or two later Kevin Keegan called – the word ‘gaffer’ popped up on the screen. He said, ‘Please stop putting the phone down on the England manager, and definitely stop telling him to fuck off’.

George Caulkin and Steve Howey explore their unlikely friendship, and alcohol consumption.

2. In the short time I have known him, I have forged admiration and respect for Isaac. I worry about him, reading his text, and we swap messages. We agree that we should meet again at his home.

lawrence-okolie-and-isaac-chamberlain-public-workout Isaac Chamberlain during a public workout at the BXR Gym, London. PA Archive / PA Images PA Archive / PA Images / PA Images
A couple of days later, the seemingly tormented man who texted me at 5.18 a.m. has gone. He is now calm and serene. “It’s better to express the feelings you have in those dark moments, rather than bottling them up,” he says. “I feel better when I write everything down.”

I have read Isaac’s writing from the past few months. At his recent training camp in Miami conditions were so barren that, without any Wi-Fi, he simply worked, read, wrote and slept on a tiny bed which eventually collapsed and left him with just a mattress. We discuss whether to share his writing, including the above text, and Isaac is emphatic.

“Tell everyone the whole story, boss,” he urges me. “I want them to understand. I’m ready to bare my soul.”

Donald McRae takes us from Brixton’s streets to life as a young millionaire with Isaac Chamberlain

3. His time at England encapsulated his career. He failed to use talented players in the correct role, the team punched below their weight and when he left after the humiliating Euro 2016 defeat by Iceland, it was with breathtaking bad grace. “I really don’t know what I’m doing here,” was his spiteful opening gambit in the press conference, conducted the day after the embarrassing result and his resignation.

crystal-palace-v-liverpool-premier-league-selhurst-park Crystal Palace manager Roy Hodgson. Adam Davy Adam Davy

It’s hard to know what he is still doing in the affections of so many people. If he keeps Palace up it will be seen as another feather in his cap. Once again the bare minimum will be regarded as a triumph.

A faux sophistication has been projected on to Hodgson and it has created a myth. His reputation is greater than his achievements. He may be excellent after-dinner company but he is a very ordinary manager.

Tony Evans makes a case for Roy Hodgson being a seriously overrated manager.

4. On this Monday, walking through the Davids’ new front door is a dizzying procession of cable guys, utility workers and movers. Amid all of this, Jeff receives a phone call from a former co-worker with the Kings. Her name is Stacy Wegzyn, and she works in HR. Jeff last remembers sitting in her office in Sacramento just months earlier, being told that the Kings were going to eliminate his position. After a few pleasantries, she gets down to business. She tells Jeff she’s been going through his old files, and in doing so she found one labeled “TurboTax” that references an entity called Sacramento Sports Partners.

“I was just curious what that is and if those are documents that should go to somebody else,” Wegzyn says.

It’s a seemingly innocuous inquiry from an HR lifer. But it’s one that will dictate the rest of Jeff David’s life. If he knows that — or senses it — he doesn’t let on.

“No, no, no,” Jeff responds. “That was a … man, this is taking me back. Maybe 2015?”

How NBA executive Jeff David stole $13 million from the Sacramento Kings.

5. The good kickers are struggling. Both of last year’s Pro Bowl kickers, Aldrick Rosas and Jason Myers, have experienced severe drop-offs, with Rosas missing more field goals despite 23 fewer attempts and Myers a dismal 14-for-19. Stephen Gostkowski, third all time in field goal accuracy, missed four extra points before the Patriots placed him on the injured reserve with a hip injury. Robbie Gould and Wil Lutz, seventh and fifth all time in field goal accuracy, are both having the worst seasons of their careers. And then there’s the GOAT, Adam Vinatieri, who is struggling massively, connecting on just 75 percent of field goals and 75 percent of extra points. Vinatieri, who holds the NFL records for career points and field goals made, is the main culprit in two of Indianapolis’s four losses this year—he missed two field goals and an extra point in a season-opening, six-point loss to the Chargers and a would-be game-winning 43-yarder against the Steelers. Despite his spectacular and historic career, it seems like it’s time for the Colts to move on from their 46-year-old kicker if they want to win.

nfl-nov-04-cowboys-at-giants New York Giants kicker Aldrick Rosas. Rich Graessle Rich Graessle

That said, it seems like moving on from Vinatieri could be disastrous, because the bad kickers have been especially bad. Four teams that needed to turn to a free-agent kicker have been so underwhelmed by the performance of that free-agent kicker that they’ve had to cut that guy and bring in somebody new. Then they learned the hard way that their free-agent kicker was not good enough: The Jets had Taylor Bertolet in training camp, but cut him and brought in Kaare Vedvik to start the season … and then Vedvik cost the team their season-opener against the Bills by missing both kicks he attempted. The Falcons had Giorgio Tavecchio, but turned to longtime Falcon Matt Bryant after Tavecchio underwhelmed in preseason—then had to cut Bryant after he made just nine of 14 kicks; the Patriots brought in Mike Nugent after Gostkowski’s injury, but cut him after a 5-for-8 start.

Rodger Sherman tries to find out why the NFL’s kickers are down a full five percentage points in 2019.

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