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Dublin: 16 °C Thursday 4 June, 2020

Diary of a Fantasy Gaffer: Just let me use the wildcard already

Four players injured, consistently low points scoring… There was only one solution.

Jordan Henderson -- one of the many new additions to the fantasy team.
Jordan Henderson -- one of the many new additions to the fantasy team.

A GLANCE AT my injury-stricken team coupled with a lowly 376th position in’s Fantasy League led to one conclusion: use of the wildcard was long overdue.

Four players on the team were injured while others were, for want of a better word, rubbish, so there was no question of the need to start all over again.

Luis Suarez stayed, obviously, as did the ever-reliable Yaya Toure (I don’t care what Didi Hamann says, you don’t win fantasy points for tracking back).

Romelu Lukaku, Seamus Coleman, Danny Ward and Steven Whittaker were also kept on. The latter two were retained on the basis that every team needs at least two players who are as rubbish as they are cheap.

However, those players aside, a more cliché-prone dog than myself might say I did not hesitate to ‘ring the changes’.

Jack Wilshere — cheap and good, Jay Rodgriguez — cheap and good, Mathieu Debuchy — cheap and good, Jordan Henderson — cheap and will invariably play (spot a theme developing?) were among those to come in.

We also brought some much-needed Arsenal players into our defence — after all, they haven’t lost in two years with Koscielny and Mertesacker in the team (not counting all those times the former was sent off).

The subsequent team chosen is, if I may say so, a minor work of art.

Now let’s pray for a 3-3 draw in tonight’s Merseyside Derby, with Suarez and Coleman (assuming he’s fit to play) scoring a hat-trick apiece.


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Godfrey the Gaffer

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