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Dublin: 12 °C Wednesday 24 April, 2019

Diary of a Fantasy Gaffer: Out with the old, in with the Adebayor

Another gameweek filled with regrets has left us reeling, but we’re counting on one man to relieve our woes.

Emmanuel Adebayor makes the team this week.
Emmanuel Adebayor makes the team this week.

AFTER RESORTING TO using the wildcard in desperation recently, I thought things couldn’t get much worse.

However, it’s never a good sign when your three-man defence scores higher than your three-man strike force, even after handing the captaincy to one of the latter.

Despite forgetting to take the injured Romelu Lukaku out of my team, I refuse to accept blame for the minor disaster that followed.

Ultimately, I blame Luis Suarez for failing to score against a paltry West Brom outfit.

Thankfully though, I had the good sense/bravery to pick not one but two Southampton players — Adam Lallana and Jay Rodriguez — both of whom scored, thus partially making up for Suarez’s rare failure to find the net (he never does it against the small teams!*).

My Arsenal defence came up trumps also, with Koscielny and Sagna securing a combined total of 15 points, though the same cannot be said for Jack Wilshere.

The England midfielder seems to be continually on the verge of returning from injury — the only problem is that he NEVER actually does.

Consequently, I’ve finally grown fed up and replaced him with the Scottish Pirlo, aka Charlie Adam.

Now that Stoke are no longer obsessed with playing caveman football, Mark Hughes seems to be intent on making him their main man (or giving him the ‘quarterback role’ as those that don’t really understand American football might put it).

So Adam’s in, and — so long as Stephen Ireland doesn’t unexpectedly come good — he should be in the team most weeks. Moreover, if last week against Man United is anything to go by, he’s beginning to show the type of form that earned him many admirers at Blackpool (before big-fish-in-small-pond syndrome set in).

Anyway, I’ve also gotten rid of Lukaku, who is suddenly playing poorly (and is now also injured), and brought in Adebayor, who is suddenly playing well — at least, ever since Tim Sherwood implemented the ingenious tactic that entails actually playing him.

So ultimately, my team is now looking pretty good, I think… So long as I ignore the fact that Liverpool are playing Arsenal and I’m doomed to lose in some way irrespective of what happens.

*Just kidding, please keep scoring and earning me precious, precious fantasy points, Luis.


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About the author:

Godfrey the Gaffer

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