Dublin: 26°C Thursday 11 August 2022


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Arsenal 6-1 Southampton
Aston Villa 2-0 Swansea
Fulham 3-0 West Brom
Man United 4-0 Wigan
QPR 0-0 Chelsea
Stoke City 1-1 Man City

First of all, here are today’s teams…

Arsenal v Southampton
Arsenal: Szczesny, Jenkinson, Mertesacker, Vermaelen, Gibbs, Coquelin, Arteta, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Cazorla, Podolski, Gervinho
Subs: Mannone, Koscielny, Andre Santos, Giroud, Walcott, Ramsey, Arshavin
Southampton: Kelvin Davis, Clyne, Hooiveld, Fonte, Fox, Puncheon, Ward-Prowse, Schneiderlin, Steven Davis, Lallana, Lambert
Subs: Gazzaniga, Yoshida, Rodriguez, Ramirez, Richardson, Mayuka, Chaplow
Referee: Kevin Friend (Leicestershire)
Aston Villa v Swansea
Aston Villa: Guzan, Lowton, Clark, Vlaar, Lichaj, Holman, El Ahmadi, Ireland, Bannan, Weimann, Bent
Subs: Given, N’Zogbia, Agbonlahor, Westwood, Benteke, Bowery, Bennett
Swansea: Vorm, Rangel, Tate, Williams, Davies, Britton, de Guzman, Michu, Dyer, Routledge, Graham
Subs: Tremmel, Hernandez, Shechter, Moore, Ki, Agustien, Richards
Referee: Lee Mason (Lancashire)
Fulham v West Brom
Fulham: Schwarzer, Riether, Hughes, Hangeland, Riise, Duff, Sidwell, Baird, Kacaniklic, Berbatov, Rodallega
Subs: Stockdale, Kelly, Kasami, Karagounis, Briggs, Trotta, Smith
West Brom: Foster, Jones, McAuley, Olsson, Ridgewell, Mulumbu, Yacob, Odemwingie, Morrison, Fortune, Long
Subs: Myhill, Rosenberg, Brunt, Dorrans, Lukaku, Gera, Dawson
Referee: Roger East (Wiltshire)
Man Utd v Wigan
Man Utd: Lindegaard, Da Silva, Ferdinand, Vidic, Buttner, Nani, Scholes, Carrick, Giggs, Hernandez, Welbeck
Subs: De Gea, Evans, Valencia, van Persie, Cleverley, Powell, Kagawa
Wigan: Al Habsi, Boyce, Caldwell, Ramis, Figueroa, Maloney, McCarthy, McArthur, Beausejour, Kone, Di Santo
Subs: Pollitt, Jones, Crusat, Watson, Gomez, Boselli, Miyaichi
Referee: Michael Oliver (Northumberland)
QPR v Chelsea
QPR: Julio Cesar, Bosingwa, Ferdinand, Nelsen, Da Silva, Wright-Phillips, Granero, Faurlin, Park, Johnson, Zamora
Subs: Green, Cisse, Taarabt, Mackie, Onuoha, Dyer, Hoilett
Chelsea: Cech, Ivanovic, Luiz, Terry, Cole, Mikel, Lampard, Ramires, Hazard, Bertrand, Torres
Subs: Turnbull, Romeu, Oscar, Moses, Sturridge, Cahill, Azpilicueta
Referee: Andre Marriner
Stoke v Man City
Stoke: Begovic, Wilkinson, Shawcross, Huth, Wilson, Walters, Whelan, Nzonzi, Adam, Kightly, Crouch
Subs: Sorensen, Cameron, Owen, Whitehead, Upson, Etherington, Jerome
Man City: Hart, Maicon, Kompany, Lescott, Clichy, Nasri, Toure, Javi Garcia, Sinclair, Balotelli, Tevez
Subs: Wright, Dzeko, Kolarov, Rodwell, Barry, Silva, Toure
Referee: Mark Clattenburg (Tyne & Wear)

Manchester United have a penalty and, by all accounts, Danny Welbeck cheated.

Javier Hernandez steps up…. SAVE by Ali Al Habsi!


In handshake news, Anton Ferdinand refused to lock paws with both John Terry and Ashley Cole. The world did not stop turning.

We have a GOAL – there’s no mistaking Phil Thompson in full throat.

It’s at Arsenal as Podolski and Gibbs attack, and the ball goes in for a Jos Hooiveld own goal.

Peter Crouch has scored for Stoke! Manchester City are all over the place in defence and the ball seems to go in off the striker’s stomach. He now has three in three.

Matt Lowton has just scored his first goal for Aston Villa against Swansea, and apparently it’s a bit of a cracker. First goal for his new club.

Fabio is forced off injured for QPR, he’s been replaced by Nedum Onuoha as Bosingwa goes over to left-back.

Shaun Wright-Phillips brings Eden Hazard down at Loftus Road and it should really be a penalty, but Andre Marriner says no. John Terry gets involved in the protest, as if the QPR fans don’t have enough vitriol for the Chelsea captain.

Lukas Podolski, latest signing for my Fantasy League team, puts Arsenal 2-0 up against Southampton with a blistering free-kick.

Meanwhile, Fulham are 1-0 up against West Brom and Dimitar Berbatov has scored his first Cottagers goal. A sublime, classy finish from the former Manchester United striker as he takes a pass from Alex Kacaniklic.

Javi Garcia has his first goal for Manchester City, a simple finish from six yards as the champions draw level against Stoke City.

Arsenal are rampant, and Gervinho has just his fifth goal in 40 appearances. The Ivorian makes a fool out of Southampton’s Japanese defender Maya Yoshida before rattling it past Kelvin Davis.

Stop press – three becomes four as Nathanial Clyne scores another own goal.

At Craven Cottage, Peter Odemwingie is sent off for West Brom.

Chris Kamara tweets: ‘What on earth has just happened here!!! Peter Odemwingie for no reason just booted Riether up the backside…’

Southampton have scored! It’s been one-way traffic in the first half but the Saints have one back – Szczesny fails to deal with Jason Puncheon cross and Danny Fox slots into an empty net.

Meanwhile, Dimitar Berbatov has done it again, slotting home a penalty against West Brom.

We have half-times across the board – hoping for a lot more drama in the second half…

Manchester United have scored – Paul Scholes with the goal. Nani’s cross is parried by Al Habsi and Scholes is on hand to slot the ball in. The goal comes in Scholes’ 700th appearance for United. Poor by the Wigan goalkeeper.

Best chance of the game for QPR, as Park has a free header. Weak effort though, and Petr Cech saves – that really was a let off for the European champions.

Michael Owen “has just came out” (why, oh why, can’t Charlie Nicholas learn to speak the English language?) to warm up for Stoke, much to the delight of the fans at the Britannia.

A great save by Asmir Begovic of Stoke, who saves magnificently from a Yaya Toure effort from 16 yards. That was great from the Bosnian ‘keeper.

Wigan fail to clear their lines, Giggs finds Buttner who smashes the ball across goal – Javier Hernandez is on hand to tap in with a typical finish. Man United go 2-0 up.

A great debut for Alex Buttner, who beats three players before drilling the ball across goal. It hits Al Habsi on the way in and United have the match sewn up at Old Trafford.

At Arsenal, Cazorla finds Ramsey, whose shot hits the post. The ball falls to Gervinho and he has his second goal of the game.

Liverpool have announced their team to face Sunderland…

Reina, Kelly, Agger, Skrtel, Johnson, Shelvey, Gerrard, Allen, Sterling, Borini, Suarez.

Again, no strikers on the bench…

Subs: Jones, Enrique, Sahin, Assaidi, Henderson, Downing, Carragher

As Matt Le Tissier loses control of his voice/bodily functions – Bobby Zamora has missed a huge chance for QPR – we can bring you the Sunderland team to face Liverpool. James McClean starts.

Mignolet/Gardner O’Shea Cuellar Rose/Larsson Sessegnon Cattermole Colback McClean/Fletcher

Manchester United have a fourth goal, and it’s another first goal for the club – this time for young midfielder Nick Powell. The 18-year-old arrived from Crewe in the summer.

Fernando Torres, meanwhile, has thrown a strop after being subbed off for Chelsea.

Aston Villa are heading for their first win under Paul Lambert – Ashley Williams sells Michel Vorm short and Christian Benteke is on hand to score his first goal for his new side.

Meanwhile, at Arsenal, Thomas Vermaelen advances, shoots, sees his shot saved by Kelvin Davis and Theo Walcott scores against his former side. 6-1. Southampton are rock bottom.

Michael Owen is on for Stoke.

A stunning, magic clearance from Ryan Shawcross as Edin Dzeko lobs the on-rushing Begovic. Wow. Stoke grab a point from the champions as the full-time whistle blows.

Arsenal have beaten Southampton. Forget that. Arsenal have dismantled Southampton.

Dimitar Berbatov and a third from Steve Sidwell have given Fulham a win over West Brom.

Swansea are beaten for the first time this season, as Aston Villa win for the first time this season.

No handshakes, no goals, at QPR in an ugly match. And that’s your lot!

We’ll be back shortly for Sunderland v Liverpool…

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